I'm not a parent or a counselor, but I've had to go through this exact issue myself, so I'd like to add my own experience.
I’ve always been a ‘good’ musician, but I never felt I was a ‘great’ one. While I’ve been first in all-county, all-region, etc. bands and orchestras (I play clarinet), I’ve never made all-state. I’ve participated in one competition, but I didn’t place.
My teacher has been a great support over the years and I’m very grateful to her. She’s a young professional musician in the President’s Own, with several very talented students, including two that are younger than me and have beaten me in auditions before.
For all these reasons, I felt that while I was good in my school and my area, I might not have what it took to really get out there and become a professional performer. However, I do have aspirations, and I do work hard, so I decided to try anyway.
What really helped me gauge my talent were the lessons with faculty. I started visiting schools junior year and since I had no commitments at that point, I felt it wasn’t being too obnoxious to ask the professor at the end of the lesson, “Is this school in my range?” When I got a very definite YES, or even a neutral sort of ‘maybe, if you keep working hard’-type answer, I considered the school to be in my range. Professors don’t tell everyone to audition for their schools – so if someone suggested I should, I took it as a positive indicator.
Another talent-meter for me was my summer programs. Those have been indispensable resources, not only for what I learned, but for letting me see what was ‘really’ out there. I never went to Brevard, Interlochen, or the other big-name festivals. But I went to some lesser-known programs that still attracted talent, and I was able to break out of my community, where I’m considered very able, and see if I was still considered able compared to people from all over the country. One good example from this was at my camp this summer (Eastman Music Horizons). I became friends with the former first chair of the New York all-state band (in her junior year!) and realized we were working on the same solo repertoire and had the same practicing habits, etc. That was a good indicator for me as well.
The happy ending to all this is that it seems I was right – you don’t need pre-college training from age 4 at a conservatory to make it into a good college. I observed myself and the musicians around me and tried to make realistic decisions – and it worked. I just received my first acceptance (to IU Jacobs) about two weeks ago.
