| 1. Can one retain ivy or top tier aspirations following a poor freshman year?"
Yes, many colleges don't look at freshmen year grades. All colleges also are very impressed by upward trends in grades.
2. Do upper middle black girls brought up in Christian households engage in that kind of smut on the net?
All kinds of kids do those kind of thoughtless, naive things. Race, religion have nothing to do with it. Kids are curious and naive. I know a very nice young man brought up in a home with college professor parents who are some of the most nurturing and wise parents whom I've ever met. When he was about 14, his parents learned he'd run up a sky high credit card bill looking at porn on-line.
Parents did something wise: Had him read some of CS Lewis' philosophy books, and write reports on them and discuss them with the parents. All became closer as a result. (And for those who are wondering about the bill, the dad was a lawyer, who called the credit card company and got the bill removed since the kid was a minor and the charge was for porn).
3. Does she now have a "record" (despite what the police said)?
Doubt that she does. The person who should have a record is the guy who was probably breaking the law by what he did with a minor.
4. Does it make sense to send her to a military academy where males outnumber females 5:1? Would they take her now?
I don't think that would be a good idea. I think it would be a very good idea to establish closer ties with her -- do joint activities together such as volunteering. It may be a lack of confidence or overall wisdom that led her to do that kind of inappropriate communication. I think the best help she could get would be from her parents.
5. Why, in sending this guy a pic of "herself" did she send a pic of a white girl? I'm glad she didn't send her own pic -- but . . . does she wish she was white?
Ask her. It may be, too, that it was all fantasy to her -- that she had no plans of ever meeting him so sent him someone else's picture.
"We keep our internet access pretty out in the open and get reports about how much time is spent where, but I guess I could miss it. I'm going to ask right now..."
Kids who are engaged in on-line sex aren't likely to admit that if parents ask them. That's why the rule at my house always was that until sons were at least 16, H and I could snoop in their accounts and computers at any time. |