There's definitely many different side topics going on here. For those who think some of us care TOO MUCH about money; no we don't. We're practical. What good is working your fingers to the bone if you can't personally enjoy some of it.
Those who said if money is so important, we shouldn't had kids. Well, that is just plain stupid. "Eventually a dog is going to die; why even have one"? Giving a child everything they want from birth and including their college is a disservice to the children. You need to say no sometimes. You need to set limitations. You need to foster self sufficiency and teach them how to do things for themselves. The who purpose of the "Training" portion of a parent is to someday have that child be able to support and take care of him/her self. Yes, weddings cost money; but you DON'T have to spend $50k on a wedding. You can spend $10K. College costs money; but you don't have to pay $30K a year for it.
Next; the examples given need to be more explicit. To thin that the ACTUAL LOAN TO PRINCETON when the dust settles is going to be about $20K; that's not realistic. The reason is because of 2 reasons. 1st; Most people don't know how to get money for school. We've already seen it here too many times. Most people think that you get money from the college/university. Yes, you can get some, but when you start looking at the HYPS type school, what they give is a lot less. Most people don't know that there's a lot more out there. Here's a good USAtoday article about the issue.
http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/...ver-usat_x.htm
Some here are separating the loan of the student and the debt of the parent. You CAN'T do that. Not unless you believe that the parent OWES THEIR CHILD a college education to HYPS. When you say that a family's CONTRIBUTION is $25K; where do you think they are getting the money? You are correct that MOST banks won't give a college student an unsecured loan for that kind of money. But some do. The fact is; the family contribution is ALSO DEBT. Now I do agree that if the family determines that they can afford "X" amount a year for college. (I DON'T CARE WHAT FAFSA SAYS THE CONTRIBUTION SHOULD BE. THAT IS UP TO WHAT THE PARENTS SAY THEY CAN AFFORD); if the difference to the dream school is proportionately very little; e.g. an additional $3-$5k, then it could very well be worth the little extra. Especially if the kid was going to get to part time job to help out. But generally speaking, the family contribution and the final student loan is ALL DEBT. It can't be separated.
As far as trying to say that kids are being taught that the money for college is better spent on vacations and trips; that too is rationalized garbage. Not one person here has said that education is a waste. The difference is; there are a lot of us who have first hand knowledge and experience and say that a degree from Harvard and the debt accompanied by it, is not proportionately a better education that going to State "U". There are times when Harvard is the best education. There are times when Colorado State University is the best education. That has nothing to do with money and is a totally different topic. There are times that if you want the best education in a certain area, that MIT, Harvard, etc... is the place to go. Sometimes, there are times if you want the BEST EDUCATION in a certain area, that Colorado state or Michigan state is the best college. The cost of the college is secondary. Also, what we call substantial debt is relative and subjective to each student. But when we are talking about substantial debt; either for the parent or the student; we aren't talking about a $20K loan upon graduation. We are looking more at a $100,000+ plus debt upon graduation.
P.S. WE HAVEN"T EVEN GOTTEN INTO TALKING THAT MOST PARENTS DON'T HAVE JUST 1 KID. SO MULTIPLY TO DEBT; IF THE PARENT IS EXPECTED TO PAY FOR IT; BY HOW MANY KIDS.