je_ne_sais_quoi - I'm glad you found your way here. Your feelings are actually incredibly common, I think, and probably struck home for many. It's hard to post negative feelings in the middle of a bunch of congrats (and likewise, it's hard to post good news following folks who are struggling.)
Someone reminded me today of a thread I started 3 years ago when my oldest graduated from Penn and started working. Now he will be starting grad school next fall (while still working). Success all around. And yet, in 2001 Duke waitlisted him, and I still bear a grudge.
(S1 doesn't. He would say, "Duke? Who's that?") Your D has the thick skin many of us wish for. As she matures, I think she will develop more of a social awareness, but that thick skin has it's benefits. My S1 also has a pretty thick skin (aka social cluelessness) which keeps him going forward when the rest of us are reeling. I hope your D lands in a place where she is accepted for who she is, and will thrive and blossom in ways you can't even imagine.