| I'm going out a limb here, but if the "top" college campuses are 100% Asian because their grades and scores warrant admission, I'm all for it.
The way college admissions works now is impossible to understand, and has parents and kids scrambling this way and that. The rules keep changing. For example, regarding ecs, "doing what you love" fell out of favor a few years ago in favor of "be well-rounded". Now it's back to the former. Parents and kids are really trying to understand what colleges want. That only makes sense. What else can we do, especially when it is our first child who is going through this process? We might not want to follow a formula, but it feels terrifying to do otherwise! If you have a very bright, talented child who wants a particular type of college education, it only stands to reason they and their parents would try to figure out a way to bring that about!
Most of the time, logic and effort do bring "desired results". Now those factors seem to account for less and less of the decisions made by college admissions officers. There does seem to be a true disconnect between what one would logically conclude SHOULD MATTER when it comes to college admissions, and what actually does.
My daughter was encouraged to follow guidelines set forth by her HS GC as a freshman. She stayed the course, even when it meant taking much harder classes she did not like as well, or not dropping a foreign language sequence senior year in favor of a new language. ONE TIME she insisted on letting an activity go (varsity sports). We are now told continuing with that sport could have meant admission at one or maybe two of the colleges to which she was waitlisted. What is a parent to do?! Especially with a good, compliant child who knew she was no college admissions expert, trying to follow the advice of those who should know better?
I feel for you, puzzledad. The knowledge your son has gained and habits he has developed will serve him well in the long run. I hope he will make the most of his college experience, and he knows you are proud of him.
FYI: When efforts don't bring "results" a phenomenon called learned helplessness often occurs, leading to depression. It is truly better for your child to reframe this experience in his mind. He did not have control over the outcome, so he cannot feel he is to blame.
As for your second son? I wish I knew. For now, I am allowing my next child to take whatever classes she wants (satisfying graduation requirements, of course) and enjoy doing whatever she pleases. Let the chips fall where they may. |