| "Northstarmom- he's a kid and kids do stupid things. Back in our day when we did stupid things they didn't necessarily ruin our lives the way things potentially can do now."
Back in the day, I didn't do "stupid" things like that. My husband also didn't do "stupid" things like that. Some might say we were nerds, but neither of us thought a good time involved things like drunken vandalizing.
None of us has control over whether our kids do "stupid" things that are crimes. I would never say that my kids won't do such things. If they did such a thing and got caught, I would still love them, and also would expect that they would pay for their lawyer (which might mean my giving them a loan which I'd expect son to pay for in advance).
"It's a different world and I agree with doing everything possible to minimize the consequences. Once again, you are exhibiting NO tolerance for mistakes. You must live in a different world from most of the rest of us."
I believe in holding someone responsible for their mistakes. In other words, I don't believe in giving a free pass -- making excuses that everyone drinks underage or commits other illegal acts.
I agree that I must not live in the same world that you do. I don't think it's normal or expected for teens to commit crimes like theft and vandalism. While I know that many people drink underage, I also know some who do not. While some of my friend's kids have gotten into trouble (including one kid who got into trouble for theft), I don't view such behavior as typical for teens.
If one of my sons had an experience like the OP's godson, I would not be considering my son an innocent bystander, but would be talking to my son about his own responsibiity for his resulting legal problems. Unless he realized his own responsibiity for his problems, he'd be likely to get into more trouble. |