I wouldn't worry about the New Jersey thing. First of all, New Jersey varies a lot, from Newark to Mendham, to the Pine Barrens or Bay Head. I have never heard complaints that Princeton feels too "New Jersey-ish". The high wattage of the students really overweighs the what-state-do-they-come-from aspect.
As for the eating clubs, there is no doubt that with 4-year resident colleges there are more options for people who don't want to join. But if you like to go to parties, you will at some point go to the Street. And you may want to join a club. At which point, maybe you and a group of friends will sign in to a non-Bicker club. That is pretty easy. Or, at which point, you may decide you want to Bicker at a selective club.
Having a visible, all in one place venue for parties is a good thing. No one has to "overhear" that there is a dorm party somewhere. No one has to try to figure out via Facebook who is going out in NYC that night. No fake IDs.
If people don't like the eating clubs, here are the usual reasons. One, you don't drink and you disapprove and being around people who drink bothers you. If you don't mind being around others who drink however, no one will force you. Or bother you. There is quite a culture now around safety, so kids look out for eachother. But, as I said, if you really hate to drink and you don't want to be with anyone who does, you won't like the clubs.
Now, if you don't like the clubs, do you necessarily not like Princeton? No. I didn't like the clubs. I dropped out of mine. I ate independently. Didn't bother me at all. Learned to cook. Joined a cooking co-op. But if you want to join the social mainstream and you don't like the clubs and you don't like the alternatives, i.e. 4-year residential colleges or cooking co-ops, well, then, you might not like Princeton.
So make yourself a logical tree. Like this. Do I need to participate in the most visible social activity at school or am I happy in the available alternatives? Yes/No. If Yes, is there an available alternative that appeals to me? Colkking co-op, residential college? Yes/No. If No, you might not like Princeton. Next branch. Am I OK to be with people who are drinking? Yes/No. If No, then maybe you won't like Princeton. But that leaves the large majority at Yes. If Yes, then are you OK to join a sign-iin club or are you going to be itching to Bicker. Yes/No. If you will be itching to Bicker, can you live with the possibility of getting "hosed". Be aware that there is no shame in being "hosed". Kids get interviewed in the newspaper about it and joke with their friends. They usually re-Bicker or else join a sign-in.
My daughter says she doesn't know a single person who doesn't like Princeton. And she knows a lot of people. I knew someone who didn't like it, she went to London for her junior year, and just really wanted to be in a city. But she actually really liked her eating club
.
The clubs are rarely what make people dislike Princeton.