| I told you about my new boyfriend as a courtesy not so you could judge him or give me the third degree. I haven't talked to you in a couple of months so how in the world do you think you know what is best for me? I figured you would rather hear about him from me than from another family member, I thought it would make you feel good.
I am an adult, able to make my own decisions about who I want to date. I have talked to my boyfriend more than I have talked to you since the last time I saw you. I don't think you have any idea about what is best for me, and just because my relationship may seem unconventional to you and maybe to everyone else doesn't mean that you get to judge it. I don't know if I even want you to meet him; I want to be able to deal with the dating without getting my crazy family involved at least for now.
I don't think the age difference is weird, I don't think his personal life is weird, I think we're very similar in a lot of ways, and I'm glad to have him in my life. Does that mean I think the relationship is going to be perfect? No, but I do think I'm lucky to have someone so special in my life. So be happy for me because I found someone who is considerate and respectful rather than judging him. Being judgmental is just going to make me push further away from you, not make me want to tell you more about the special person in my life. If I can't explain it to you in a way that makes sense than fine, you don't understand, but you don't need to think that the guy I'm dating is weird because his history doesn't match your expectations and because we're vastly different in age. We care about each other and we want to see if that can be enough to make a relationship work in a way that it should, I'm not going to share every detail of that relationship with you because we barely talk any more. I realize that you think for some reason that you should look out for me, but I've been on my own for a while now, and I don't need to be taken care of. If you want to actually help me just be happy about the good things in my life, don't downplay them just because you've made different decisions. I'm not you, and I have no desire to be, I like who I am and the decisions that I have made in my life, if you don't then tough luck. |