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Thus, my guess is a lot of the "rivalry" comes from friends who go to one of the two schools and jibe at the other.
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that's mostly what it is. The schools in my area tend to have a consistently high number of students that go to UVa or Tech. We just poke fun at each other and the "rivalry" (as shoebox said) is mostly for fun. If you look back on the tragic shooting at VTech, the most affected university outside of Tech was UVa because many of the students going to UVa have a sizable friend base at Tech. UVa held it's own candlelight vigil and painted the Beta Bridge.
(to see:
Notes from Peabody II: The UVA Application Process: Hoos for Hokies message finally comes down )
The two schools are intertwined because both student bodies know quite a few students attending the other university.
The VT/UVa rivalry can be summed up as this. When you write something on AIM and mean it as a joke, you add a smilie at the end. When you talk about the UVa/VT rivalry, you add a :P,

, or

at the end of "YOU'RE GOING DOWN TURKEY."
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im about to fill out my uva acceptance letters
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Then you're going to UVa?!