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My own jaded experience is that it is a very rare music teacher indeed who is not much more interested in him/herself and their reputation than in the kids studying with them. This is particularly true of the orchestra and choral conductors many of whom are somewhat embittered, failed musicians who had expected to do more with their lives than teach children. It's an unfortunate reality of the music business which I've seen at many levels with both of my children. My older son sang professional solo opera at the highest level as a boy treble (11 years old) and this was where I saw this first and foremost. The choral director promoted him only because (and for as long as) she thought he would be seen as her protege. It turned out that she was not well liked in the institution (a major European opera house where she was director of the children's choir). He came to her from a US boys' choir already trained and did not find her coaching helpful - she wasn't even a singer. He quickly darted right past her and she then did everything she could to undercut and injure him. Luckily he was so good that her efforts failed. But we as parents were forced to become a barricade between her anger and our vulnerable and young child who was only vaguely aware of her hostility. The needs of the kids are often either not considered or only a negligeable consideration.
I know that these comments will generate some controversy on this site as I am sure there are several dedicated music teachers contributing, but I have two exceptionally gifted music students and I know this to be true most of the time. The saying in our house is: if you come to expect love from a music teacher, you're putting your eggs in the wrong basket. Wisdom and advice, yes. Technical teaching, absolutely, but you as parent need to be the intermediary and policeman to be sure that your child is getting the best that you can get for them. High school music teachers are very often the worst of this phenomenon. Private teachers, by contrast, are more personally involved with their students and thus more likely to be empathetic with their individual needs. Nevertheless, remember always that the teacher cares more about their own reputation than in your child.
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