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But I've never lost weight that way.
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You're not doing enough of it. Or, you're burning fat and building muscle, which keeps your weight the same (or even increases it) but makes you more "toned" (you mentioned muscle firmness - there is no such thing, what's happening is that there is less fat around the muscle so it feels more firm).
Weight is a terrible measure of fitness. Only wrestlers trying to qualify for a weight class ever need to "lose weight." The other %99.9 of people want a change in body composition (fat-muscle proportion), which can involve gaining weight, since muscle weighs more than fat. Often it does involve the loss of body weight, but weight loss in itself is not the goal.
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The people actually doing so, though, are probably MORE rare than the pro basketball player.
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I thought so too, but I googled it and it looks like lots of people (mountain bikers, serious athletes etc.) burn calories in that range. Fit people burn a lot more calories just sitting around, and I'd guess that once you add substantial levels of exercise, calorie expenditure can hit 8000. But nobody has a metabolism that naturally can go through 8,000 calories as a resting rate - that's impossible.