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as a wellesley student, you CAN take classes at harvard and mit.
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As a Barnard student, you WILL take classes at Columbia.
That's the difference -- if you don't want to take classes at Columbia, you would probably have to make a conscientious effort to avoid it, and it would be tricky. When Barnard students take classes at Columbia, they don't think about it or plan for it in particular - they simply choose from the catalog. Also, there is no issue about time or schedule -- it is easy to schedule classes back-to-back, with only 10 minutes between classes, because physically, the campuses really occupy only a few city blocks and are adjacent to one another.
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I also really like that Wellesley, unlike Barnard, is self-sustainable. While some students take classes at MIT, Wellesley has a fantastic math and science department of their own, and you could easily get through four great years never having to rely on another school.
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Columbia is not "another" school - Barnard is part of Columbia University. I saw it written somewhere that Barnard is Columbia's "sister" college and that makes some sense. There are many, many courses that are defined as "interfaculty" meaning that they aren't officially tied to one school or another, though as a practical matter they are going to be localized on one campus -- but that same course may shift from one campus to another on different semesters. All courses in the catalogue with a "W" or a "V" fit that description - if you were to tell me that there was a class called History W3110 -- I would not be able to tell you from that info alone whether it was a Columbia or a Barnard course.
It works the other way around, though since Columbia is larger and has its core, it is not
as dependent on Barnard. But there are plenty of Columbia majors and that rely in part or on whole on courses offered at Barnard -- it just makes sense for the colleges to work cooperatively to maximize their offerings to their students.
Now it is fine for someone to decide that she really doesn't want the affiliated-with-Columbia experience, and to choose a different college, but the concept that Barnard is not "self-sustaining" is silly. Columbia isn't going to go away, and there is no fence between the 2 colleges.
I can understand why someone might want the more insular arrangement of a traditional LAC -- but I just am trying to get across that things are intermixed. Barnard women are attracted to the idea of having the "best of both" -- if that isn't your thing, fine -- but it's not a matter of being uncomfortable or unsure of the situation.