I agree with almost all of what Northstarmom wrote now that I hear you told your son a money limit if he applied to Pepperdine and would need merit aid (do I have that correct?) It does sound like things were not that clear but it was said to him, right?
But there is still one part that I don't agree with personally but again, these are personal decisions and not about "right and wrong." Northstarmom wrote:
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your H had told your S that he'd need scholarship money to be able to attend an expensive school.
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But what doesn't sit right with me in this situation is that he was ALSO told he could attend the school with the good reputation in the midwest which is ALSO expensive without scholarship money and where he is currently wait listed. So, that would be confusing to a kid that on the one hand you can spend more than you told him but only if it is a certain school. Again, that is your perogative but for me, I would have paid the same for Pepperdine as for the school in the Midwest because my kid liked that school and I was willing to pay that amount that I actually could pay had he gone to a school I personally liked better.
I also agree with others that your son got into some very nice schools but doesn't seem to want to attend any of them and so his list needed more thought to find schools he truly would like to attend.
I still think that your willingness to pay full freight for D and not for S might not feel right for S.
I also agree with Northstarmom that your son may feel some mixed messages as you seem willing to send son to Pepperdine and Dad doesn't and so things were not so clear to him.
I agree with NSM that if your son REALLY wants to attend Pepperdine, it may be possible on Monday for him to talk to them and also your son can discuss how he might make up the difference in funds in order to attend that school.