speckledegg

My inlaws are age 97 and 88. They have always been remarkably active. It is a second marriage of 27 years duration. They were never close and things have been very rocky for the last 10 years. My FIL (97) is physically in decent health for his age but comes in and out mentally and is emotionally volatile. Even with the help of a caregiver in the home, his needs and care have become too much for my MIL to handle and the difficult decision has been made by his children (with acceptance by my MIL) to place him in a nursing home.

They are currently in FL for the winter. The nursing home is in FL, which is close to one of his two children, and my MIL plans to return to her home state in CT for the summer months, which is within a couple of hours of her three children and their families. She will travel to visit him every 4-6 weeks.

No one I know has experienced this sort of long-distance nursing home arrangement, and I am trying to anticipate the various issues that need to be considered as things unfold over the next month or so, and beyond. In particular, I want to be responsive to my MIL's emotional and other needs during the transition as she deals with a long-distance marriage, the sense of leaving her husband behind, living on her own, and dealing with the uncertainty of what will happen in the upcoming months. (Most of the logistics are being handled by my FIL's children.) Your insights are welcome. Thank you.