College Discussion - View Single Post - Protocol for offering assistance to the handicapped?

astrophysicsmom · 05-09-2008, 07:01 AM

Since my mother-in-law has lived near us for over 2 years, and is confined to a motorized wheelchair, I have become much more aware of how the world appears differently to someone in a wheelchair...and how sometimes places really exaggerate/misused the term "handicapped accessible."

The other day at one of those hotel "continental breakfasts", I found myself in an awkward situation, which I didn't handle well. I truly felt bad, but wonder how I could have appeared less offensive to the gentleman involved.

There was a man who walked, with difficulty, with the assistance of forearm crutches. He was pouring himself a cup of coffee, adding cream, and getting a bagel. I certainly did not intend to be condescending, but I asked him if I could offer him any help. He was clearly offended and told me no, thank you, in a very annoyed way. If I had asked him more specifically, "Could I put your coffee at your table for you?" would that have been any better? Should I just keep my mouth shut in the future?

Yes, I realize that people live quite effectively with all kinds of different challenges; I did not "feel sorry" for him. My intention was to maybe prevent him from burning his hand on his way back to his seat. Yes, I KNOW he could do it by himself, but is it wrong to offer to help someone out?

05-09-2008, 07:01 AM	#1
astrophysicsmom Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Threads: 79 Posts: 974	Protocol for offering assistance to the handicapped? Since my mother-in-law has lived near us for over 2 years, and is confined to a motorized wheelchair, I have become much more aware of how the world appears differently to someone in a wheelchair...and how sometimes places really exaggerate/misused the term "handicapped accessible." The other day at one of those hotel "continental breakfasts", I found myself in an awkward situation, which I didn't handle well. I truly felt bad, but wonder how I could have appeared less offensive to the gentleman involved. There was a man who walked, with difficulty, with the assistance of forearm crutches. He was pouring himself a cup of coffee, adding cream, and getting a bagel. I certainly did not intend to be condescending, but I asked him if I could offer him any help. He was clearly offended and told me no, thank you, in a very annoyed way. If I had asked him more specifically, "Could I put your coffee at your table for you?" would that have been any better? Should I just keep my mouth shut in the future? Yes, I realize that people live quite effectively with all kinds of different challenges; I did not "feel sorry" for him. My intention was to maybe prevent him from burning his hand on his way back to his seat. Yes, I KNOW he could do it by himself, but is it wrong to offer to help someone out?