| I'm intimidated by my father, who didn't even get a four-year degree. He has other personal qualities that I could never measure up to, but in terms of academics:
He's an engineer (used to do stuff with automation), and I'm studying at an engineering college. He wanted me to study either computer science or electrical/computer engineering, since both involved developing highly desirable skill sets. So, I tried a course in each. But I quickly realized that I have absolutely no aptitude for either.
I told him earlier in the semester that I was struggling, and that I'd probably end up doing mechanical engineering. He sounded surprised that I was having problems, and said I should avoid mechanical engineering since it's becoming a more stagnant field, and because it would be better for me to have CS skills and stuff.
I've never felt pressured by him, but all the sudden I'm feeling like I'm not quite meeting his expectations. He probably feels that if he can do it, I should be able to do it too. Maybe I'm just too easily discouraged, but to be honest I'm afraid of falling short of his expectations if I go into CS or ECE. And frankly, I don't think I'm really smart enough to be a good programmer, and I'm just not really an E&M person.
I've been given a much greater academic opportunity than my dad was. He tells me I have a promising future. But I'm not sure that I'll be able to live up to it. I *should* be able to do well in CS/ECE, but, for some reason, I kind of suck at things like that. But I've pretty much decided on mechE now, and I'll probably enjoy it and be good at it. |