College Discussion - View Single Post - I need some guidance about the racism I'm encountering in college

Faline2 · 05-16-2008, 10:12 PM

Ditch Kansas for some of the reasons posters are listing. I know it is hard to transfer and start over, but you may feel immense relief if you don't have to tilt at the windmill of so much backwardness for four years when you also have social needs. Loneliness is a factor in any college for young adult life but you don't have to endure this kind of isolation right at the time in your life where friendship matters so much! For your own self interest and so you can build friendships and networks in a state where you are not going to have to spend so much energy getting by and getting around cultural limitations and racial backwardness, consider transferring. Life at 18-20 is hard enough, especially if you are not blessed with parents who are great sounding boards/supports. By the way, I really hear you on that score. It is a loss to not have parents who are shepherding you during these years when you see other parents who are sacrificing and planning for the needs of their young adults. I am sure this is "coming home" to you in new and painful ways, but this is also a time for you to focus on how smart you are, how interested in learning you are, and how open you are to new people in your life who share your outlooks. Particularly since you feel the sting of not getting parental financial or emotional backing...you really ought to find a school that offers you a robust social life and students who showed up there precisely because they like diversity and consider a diverse college to be the norm. I am impressed with the jobs you took on at Kansas and with your open attitude to making it work..but you really should let yourself off the hook...you don't owe them anything, it is not your job to help them change if in exchange you get to have something of a four year social purgatory experience when you have a real need of a warm hearth social life. I am sure there are great people in Kansas, and maybe later on when your life is more developed and formed and fulfilled, you could "take" it...this is wrong for your needs right now. I do admire your spirit in getting there however, and I am sure you have been more than generous in your dealings with others. Bless you while you figure this all out...in the USA..you can find a better second home for your college years.

05-16-2008, 10:12 PM	#47
Faline2 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 1,305	Ditch Kansas for some of the reasons posters are listing. I know it is hard to transfer and start over, but you may feel immense relief if you don't have to tilt at the windmill of so much backwardness for four years when you also have social needs. Loneliness is a factor in any college for young adult life but you don't have to endure this kind of isolation right at the time in your life where friendship matters so much! For your own self interest and so you can build friendships and networks in a state where you are not going to have to spend so much energy getting by and getting around cultural limitations and racial backwardness, consider transferring. Life at 18-20 is hard enough, especially if you are not blessed with parents who are great sounding boards/supports. By the way, I really hear you on that score. It is a loss to not have parents who are shepherding you during these years when you see other parents who are sacrificing and planning for the needs of their young adults. I am sure this is "coming home" to you in new and painful ways, but this is also a time for you to focus on how smart you are, how interested in learning you are, and how open you are to new people in your life who share your outlooks. Particularly since you feel the sting of not getting parental financial or emotional backing...you really ought to find a school that offers you a robust social life and students who showed up there precisely because they like diversity and consider a diverse college to be the norm. I am impressed with the jobs you took on at Kansas and with your open attitude to making it work..but you really should let yourself off the hook...you don't owe them anything, it is not your job to help them change if in exchange you get to have something of a four year social purgatory experience when you have a real need of a warm hearth social life. I am sure there are great people in Kansas, and maybe later on when your life is more developed and formed and fulfilled, you could "take" it...this is wrong for your needs right now. I do admire your spirit in getting there however, and I am sure you have been more than generous in your dealings with others. Bless you while you figure this all out...in the USA..you can find a better second home for your college years.