| BC2012, I know that there are many high schoolers who are very immature and I can appreciate what it is like to feel alienated from others in high school because of different interests and behavioral standards -- but your post sure doesn't sound like it is coming from a "mature" person. Your desire for a roommate "from California or a far-away place" and hope to "become best friends" actually makes you sound rather naive, with unrealistic expectations. There are a large number of Barnard students from New Jersey, but they come from many different high schools and different backgrounds -- just as the approximately 10% from California. So you certainly can't lump them all together. I could understand wanting to avoid kids you already know from your hometown or school -- but you sound more like someone who has developed stereotyped concepts of what people from "faraway" places must be like.
I am not trying to be critical -- but I want to offer feedback because I think it is a mistake for you to label others as "immature" if you are also using that as a way of cutting yourself off from them. Also, while it would be nice if you become good friends with your roommate, it is unrealistic to expect that you will be "best friends", and if you seem too clingy you could end up pushing your roommate away; also, if your expectations are too high, you set yourself up for disappointment. It makes a lot more sense to simply hope that you can get along with your roommate and are compatible -- if you end up being good friends, great -- but if not, you should open yourself to friendships with others, and also recognize that it is your responsibility to take some initiative in meeting like minded people.
There are students of all ages at Barnard & Columbia. My d's best friend her freshman year was a Columbia GS student in his mid-20's. You certainly can opt to participate in activities where older students are more likely to gravitate. However, if you decide at the outset that you think you are more "mature" than others and use that as the lens through which you judge potential friendships, I think that you may have a harder time. I think one of the first qualities of "maturity" is the ability to take responsibility for one's own behavior and attitude, to begin to see yourself as others see you. You feel more "mature" -- but is it possible that you come off to other people as haughty, stuck-up, inaccessible, or judgmental? I'm not saying that you have any of those qualities -- just that its not a good starting point for meeting people to begin with the assumption you are somehow better than the rest of them, whether you define better as being "mature" or more intelligent or any other quality that you feel sets you apart.
I hope that you filled out your roommate questionnaire honestly, so that at least you will be matched with someone who has expectations and habits that are compatible with yours. |