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More than likely, most schools are not going to consider your husbands desire to not assist with paying for your son's education. Basically, many in FA Offices believe that a step-parent takes on 100% of the parent role when they marry into a pre-existing family. Realistically, your husband's income is part of the household income, and that is what the college will look at. There is no difference between yours or your husband's income....its all a part of the current household.
Some institutions may take into consideration the need to send your youngest child to a special private school, given his diability, but that will be decided on a case-by-case basis.
Also, given your reduction of income due to a job loss, they may also take this under consideration. You may want to see if you would qualify under the displaced worker clause for FAFSA (I'm not sure of the guidelines for this, as my students won't start submitting 09-10 FAFSA's until May).
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