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Slightly different perspective here, but basically arrive at the same conclusion as the previous posts. Having been married to a sailor for 25+ years, I am well aware of what it takes to make a military relationship succeed. It seems to me that many of the SOs (girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever...) have a romanticized view of the military. Think "Officer and a Gentleman" and Richard Gere carrying Debra Winger off the factory floor.
What happens after that? The reality is that the separations endured by midshipmen and their SOs is simply a precursor to the what they will experience after graduation. This is not an easy life. If the SO is someone who needs to have his/her girlfriend/boyfriend around all the time, the relationship is going to face serious difficulties. SOs who can handle long separations, who are comfortable being alone and providing support to the service member, who can function away from home, are the ones likely to succeed as part of a military couple.
I work frequently with couples who did not seem to comprehend that the wedding is not the ultimate goal. Yes, they might survive the four years "by the bay", but are they prepared to leave their home towns, move to a remote location and be alone there for months at a time? The learning curve for this is very steep. I almost failed when hubby moved me 3000 miles from home and deployed immediately on a submarine for 6 months. No contact for 6 months in a city where I had no friends. It was probably the best thing that could have happened because I grew up in a hurry. Not every couple survives that experience.
I don't mean to sound negative; I have loved being a military spouse. But I recognize that this life is not for everyone. I suggest couples take a realistic look at what the future holds and decide early if it is something they want to pursue. It is not a failure to admit that this life is not for you. Far better to determine that early.
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