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I'm confused. You say your "loan" is only $4000...but the Stafford loan max for freshmen is $5500. You should be eligible for ALL of it as an unsubsidized loan as your EFC is quite high. The amount of the Stafford loan is NOT contingent on the cost of attendance or your family finances (although I don't think you can get federal aid in excess of the total cost of attendance).
So...if you got the $5500 Stafford, and got some job at a fast food place...or two...you should have enough to attend your local community college...and yes, I know this would mean dealing with your family. BUT it would not put you in debt.
Have you had a conversation with your parents about college costs? Have you had a conversation with your parents about what you want to do when you graduate from high school? You should do this regardless of the "other" issues in your family, if it is possible to do so.
With an EFC of $69,000, your parents are earning about $200,000 a year...or so (is that right?). What reasons have they given you for not helping you with after high school education costs?
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