College Confidential - View Single Post - So what do you do with an empty-nest?

timely · 07-03-2009, 01:12 AM

We homeschooled our children, so my whole identity was wrapped up in being a homeschool mom. Last summer, as the time approached for our youngest to leave, I was not happy at all. Well...in one way I was happy. Senior year was pretty rough. S2 is disorganized and the whole application process was monumentally stressful. He also developed a pretty bad attitude during that time. So, I wanted him to leave, but I didn't want him to leave. I cried a lot.

Coming home to the empty house after dropping S2 off was painful. I remember one time when I started crying at the grocery store, because I picked up a bottle of grape juice out of habit, then realized I didn't need grape juice since S2 was the one who drank it and he didn't live at home anymore.

But, after a couple of weeks of sniffling, I looked around and realized this wasn't half bad. H and I really reconnected, just like lots of people say often happens. It was pretty surprising. My relationship with each of our 3 kids has improved after they moved out. They call often, and of course there is facebook and email, so I am still very much involved in their lives.

I think someone said in this thread something about not needing to parent anymore. Ha! This came as a big surprise to me, but I am still doing a lot of parenting. Sometimes it's relationship counseling on the phone, sometimes packing boxes with stuff various ones need me to send to them, and sometimes just listening to the latest stories the kids have to share. I still feel very needed, and I like that.

In addition to parenting, I have stepped up my responsibilities in our family business, started working out (still trying to get more regular with that), took on a (very time consuming) position as the marketing chairman for a state association we belong to, and am contracting out some projects at home that have needed doing for a long time (painting, new carpet, etc.). Did you know that when you have painters come, you have to take all the books out of bookshelves so they can be moved? Then, since the books are out, you have to sort through them and figure out what to do with the ones you don't want. You also have to take down all your pictures and drapes. I thought it was going to be so great because the painters would be doing all the work. Okay, they are still doing most of the work, but I am working, too! In a couple of weeks, I'll be teaching vacation Bible school classes for 5 year olds, so that should be a fun change of pace. I am enjoying my life and am doing just fine with not being a homeschool mom anymore.

07-03-2009, 01:12 AM	#142
timely Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,038	We homeschooled our children, so my whole identity was wrapped up in being a homeschool mom. Last summer, as the time approached for our youngest to leave, I was not happy at all. Well...in one way I was happy. Senior year was pretty rough. S2 is disorganized and the whole application process was monumentally stressful. He also developed a pretty bad attitude during that time. So, I wanted him to leave, but I didn't want him to leave. I cried a lot. Coming home to the empty house after dropping S2 off was painful. I remember one time when I started crying at the grocery store, because I picked up a bottle of grape juice out of habit, then realized I didn't need grape juice since S2 was the one who drank it and he didn't live at home anymore. But, after a couple of weeks of sniffling, I looked around and realized this wasn't half bad. H and I really reconnected, just like lots of people say often happens. It was pretty surprising. My relationship with each of our 3 kids has improved after they moved out. They call often, and of course there is facebook and email, so I am still very much involved in their lives. I think someone said in this thread something about not needing to parent anymore. Ha! This came as a big surprise to me, but I am still doing a lot of parenting. Sometimes it's relationship counseling on the phone, sometimes packing boxes with stuff various ones need me to send to them, and sometimes just listening to the latest stories the kids have to share. I still feel very needed, and I like that. In addition to parenting, I have stepped up my responsibilities in our family business, started working out (still trying to get more regular with that), took on a (very time consuming) position as the marketing chairman for a state association we belong to, and am contracting out some projects at home that have needed doing for a long time (painting, new carpet, etc.). Did you know that when you have painters come, you have to take all the books out of bookshelves so they can be moved? Then, since the books are out, you have to sort through them and figure out what to do with the ones you don't want. You also have to take down all your pictures and drapes. I thought it was going to be so great because the painters would be doing all the work. Okay, they are still doing most of the work, but I am working, too! In a couple of weeks, I'll be teaching vacation Bible school classes for 5 year olds, so that should be a fun change of pace. I am enjoying my life and am doing just fine with not being a homeschool mom anymore.
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