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I don't know... this is my first crack at a critique of an essay.
"despite of the fact" -> despite the fact
"The qualms which resound through fictitious works" that is a very awkward phrase, almost like you're forcing dime store words into a sentence. -> "the moral challenges that are presented in fictitious works" is I believe what you meant to say.
"Several literary classics provide us with such facilitative morals" -> The literary classics To Kill a Mockingbird, In Dubious Battle, and The Great Gatsby present common real-life moral dilemmas that help shape the a thoughtful reader's own morality.
and on it goes (sorry not enough time right now to discuss the entire essay. However, the opening paragraph is really critical to earning an 11 or 12 score.
1st paragraph: Summarize what you are going to write.
Write it in detail.
Summarize what you wrote and how it reinforces your position introduced in the 1st paragraph.
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