She is not your friend. I consider a friend someone I would give my right arm to, if she needed it. I don't think you would give your right arm to her. I have many acquaintances, but only a few really good friends. I think that she is your acquaintance.
I am not a nice person. Well, I am not nice when it comes to some things. Personally, I would not bring our credit card that evening. Problem solved. Oops! I changed bags and left it on the counter. Same goes with your husband. If you are expected to pay, then tell her you will "pop a check in the mail".
Do any of your other mutual friends have issues with her, or is it just you and your husband? I would certainly ease back on seeing them. While they may be lovely people, life is too short to surround yourself with that kind of ilk.