I'd suggest you take a gap year. Both my daughters felt exactly the same way as you for different reasons. They spent their gap years working (one in a diner, one in a library) while everyone else left. They didn't really care because taking the year off was right for them. Now if their case, they lived at home b/c they had no desire to leave. However, I would have been supportive if they'd said they wanted to move out--although I agree with your parents, that California is rather far. How about a compromise, in which you do a trial run close to home? Or do volunteer work that pays room/board?
As far as routes to college--I would advise against going to an expensive 4 year college if you're not happy with going there. You could indeed go to a community college --many people do that. You can take the gap year. There are many choices; you don't have to immediately, this year, go to a 4 year college you don't want to go to. But you DO need to have a workable plan for this year, and it sounds like you're thinking about that.