"the way, regarding hazing, except in cases where the person is forcible abducted or restrained, the person CAN SAY NO. I'm pretty sure that the majority of "hazing" is of a type that a self-respecting individual can simply walk away from....just as a self-respecting woman can chose NOT to "pre-game" in her dorm room, go out drunk, drink yet more, and go to some guy's room with him. Rape and hazing are NEVER justified, but it is true that people should take some responsibility for their own behavior and choices"
To this I say, yes, but . . . There are plenty of kids who are weak-willed, brain washable, susceptible to group think. I think you are overestimating the confidence of some of these kids. I think some kids have to be protected from themselves. There are going to be plenty of girls who want to Just Say No but are lacking in self-esteem. These activities may look like a choice, and that's why the fraternities are able to do them, but they aren't always.
For me, personally, fraternities/sororities sound like a terrible practice. They create a herd mentality. The kids have less reason to get to know others outside of their group. They create an us/them situation. That's really terrible. And if hiring practices rely on fraternity membership, that's terrible, and even more reason to do away with them.
I would sit down with my kid and have a serious talk about all this, if I were the OP.