monydad, you are obviously very concerned that your D have lots of information about potential schools, which is good. Being informed in this process is, in some respects, half the battle. However, I think that you are making the social concerns you have, more of an issue than you need to for NYU. It is a huge school, thousands upon thousands of undergrads. Yes, there are many gay boys but trust me, if your D is like any other drama girl I know (and I know hundreds), some of her closest friends will be gay boys. In fact, they probably already are. Having said that, there are literally thousands of straight boys (potential dates) at NYU. Thousands. As Susan said, if your D can't find a boy to date at NYU, then it's likely she will not be able to find one ANYwhere!
While NYU is a large university, the drama department is small, and each studio is smaller, and each class is smaller still, usually about 15. There is a wonderful comeraderie and friendship which develops with these kids. They're like a family and they spend a lot of time together. However, all Tischies take other NYU classes, many double major, and thus they also have friends in every other NYU college. Most, unless they've made a specific roommate request, will be placed in their housing assignments with students who are not in Tisch. Thus, they meet lots and lots of kids who are not drama kids.
The size of the university has never for one instant made my D, who just finished her junior year, feel like a faceless number. Not once. I'm also not sure why you're concerned about the housing issue. Housing is guaranteed for all four years and most kids stay in NYU housing for all four years. Yes, some choose to get their own apartments, usually because they are planning on staying summers in the city, but most do not.
It's true that NYU has a large 'campus' with buildings in various parts of lower Manhattan, the studios, in particular. But all are within walking distance of WSP (some a longer walk than others), which most kids think of as 'campus', and around which most NYU buildings are located. Going to college in Manhattan is NOT for everyone. It takes a mature, independent, and usually outgoing kid to make it work in order to be happy and to do well. It is not the typical college experience with football games and frats but it also has its own distinct advantages, most especially for the kids in Tisch because the opportunities they have, the theatre they can see and participate in, the contacts they'll make, will not be the same anywhere else.
I wish you luck getting through this process. Is your D a senior next year? I would recommend that she visit NYU if she's interested in Tisch, speak to current students, arrange to visit some classes (this can pretty easily be done, especially through contacts here on CC, or if she has friends already there), stay overnight in a dorm, ideally for longer than just one day, if she truly wants to get the total experience of school in the city. Have fun!