| Deb, I have gone through this with son also. He is now 2nd semester soph. and is considering transferring again--actually sent the apps. this time. It is so hard and you feel so very helpless. Mine did go to counseling last year which helped--as others said --just knowing that he is not the only one that has/had these feelings helped.
My husband also did very little talking with son (just not comfortable with that), but I spent many late nights on phone with him. He too would counter with "I don't have time" to any suggestions I would have about clubs, groups, etc. Said it was all he could do to keep head above water academically without adding other commitments. Of course, I wanted to point out that if he dwelled less on his unhappiness, he might have more time--but I bit my tongue on that one!
I have no answers for you, except that I do rec. the counseling route if you can convince him. Also, dropping a class will help to decrease some of the stress.
One thing I discovered was that my son reserved all these feelings just for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he is comfortable enough to be able to unload--but when he talked with his brother or when I was concerned enough to talk with his roommate, they didn't see the depths of depression that I was feeling. It made me feel somewhat better that he was able to "keep it together" in other situations and maybe the unloading with me served as his stress release (of course it greatly added to my stress).
Be there for him, let him talk, and remind him that he is not "stuck" in any one school. Good luck. I wish the best for both of you. |