| THANK YOU to every parent who has posted the less than ideal truth about their child- from MOWC from whose son we might all expect adventures, to Curm, whose D seemed "perfect" on paper, and every one else, and how nice it is to realise that no one's kid is perfect and they all have their own struggles, and that is just life. It is encouraging to hear the stories of other families.
I recall reading on this board about 5 years ago when my D was not having fun, so many people were posting, with genuine enthusiasm and excitement, about the wonderful experience their kids were having. i felt so disheartened and saddened that my DD had not chosen well, when it seemed so easy for every one else! In time, I came to see that many people's kids have great moments and sad moments- some pick the right school, but need to make adjustments, others pick the wrong school and need to switch, whatever the issue, it is incredibly helpful to hear the sad/scary/emotional/odd stories that are happening to others, even if only to reassure ourselves that are problems are "normal."
One of my Ds had a Christmas Card letter perfect freshman year at a top 20 school, yet she was so sad & even miserable at times due to an unpleasant roommate situation- 3 girls, two who would not befriend my D and D is a kid who is friends with every one, this has never happened to her, she did not know how to deal with people who were completely disinterested in being her friend! She stuck it out, including not switching 2nd term, wanting to work through the issues, but what a wonderful weight off her shoulders this year to have a roomie who likes her and with whom she is friends and thank God for the choice to rush a sorority in the spring and become a part of a ready made group of friends. We can all debate the value of greek life, but at her school- huge with not a huge Greek life, the sorority is a nice group of people without much social drama and it saved her psyche.
My other D was never happy at her school and through that unhappiness fell vulnerable to a stalker. She actually had to take a leave from school, withdraw from classes, and leave the area to get away from this obsessive person. Thanks to the school for working with her, she will be able to finish her work, but it has been scary and will take a while to get over. Definitely, work with the advisors at the school if you have any issues arise, they have seen it all and can give a real clarity to your situation in their detachment, plus help you work through the bureaocracy of logistically handling any changes which need to be made. I was dumfounded by the level of personal assistance and caring advice we received at a big state school. Your student may be too overwhelmed by what is happening to realise the door should be left open to return and to salvage the best possible future opportunities out of any immediate change. |