| Momof2 -- Please don't beat yourself up. We also have 2 kids, and are convinced they conspire. When things are going well for both, they call each other and say that they're making it too easy on mom and dad, and then they decide whose turn it is to throw a keep-them-awake-all-night wrench into the works.
I love your idea of a house with an adult couple who teaches cooking and keeps in touch with parents. Of course, if any of us can remember what we were like in college, we can imagine how eager we would have been to live with adults, especially adults who kept in touch with our parents.
If I have any advice for your D's choices, it would be that if she goes far from home, it would be good to have friends or family in the vicinity. I have more than once e-mailed family and "suggested" that our S could use a weekend away from campus, or a good meal, or an adult to touch base with whether or not he realized it. We have close friends who once called us in a panic because their son at Cal hadn't returned their phone calls and he was prone to depression. We went and knocked on his frat house door, and verified he was ok. We were happy to do it, and that's why I don't hestitate to call on others to do the same for our kid.
For all of our high achievers, it's easy to forget that along with all the choices of classes and internships and career paths, they are having the first intense relationships with a gf or bf. If they're not, that is a source of anxiety about why they are not and if they ever will. If they are, there is the inevitable truth that one of them is more likely to be more invested in the relationship than the other and someone will be "dumped." As parents we can only hope it won't be during midterms or finals. I wish the best to you and to your son. I know your nights are sleepless, but try not to add guilt on top of the anxiety. |