| I really appreciate everyone's sharing of their children's emotionally taxing times in school, and I think it helps us all to know that it's not at all rare to suffer such struggles. Casual conversations with acquaintances at the grocery store or at the PTA meeting never yield such information and always seem to give one the impression that everyone else's children are thriving and happy. I guess the semi-anonymity of CC is what allows the more frank sharing, and I find that really valuable.
In addition to parents being helped by knowing that their own kids aren't the only ones going through tough times, I think it's helpful for the students to know that they're not the only ones suffering. I really think students think that they're the only ones who're feeling stressed out, depressed, out of control or whatever and that everyone else is stable, happy and excelling academically and socially.
My own D had a couple of relatively minor meltdowns last semester -- fueled by lack of sleep (less than an hour) that resulted in miserable performances on some quizzes and midterms and not surprisingly, also resulted in overly emotional reaction to those miserable performances. I think lack of sleep exacerbates most problems, and in the college situation, it can really lead to moderate problems becoming true crises. I was glad to be able to field the stressed out, whimpering phone calls from my D (I suspect my S would not have called), and I was able to make some suggestions that seemed to help. One sign to me of how low she was feeling was that she actually took my suggestions. The other thing I was able to convince her was that she was not the only one feeling the way she was. She said she didn't see it in anyone else, but then she conceded that no one but me knew how she was feeling. She is perpetually cheerful and comes across as very even keeled and in control. It was a real eye opener for her to contemplate the possibility that there were a lot of others there who looked like they were handling things just fine but weren't. She ended up talking to her proctor and getting some good advice for coming up with a plan to manage her time better. I feel confident that she is transparent enough with me that I will know how things are going. My S is less inclined to share what he's feeling, and I find that much more worrisome. This thread has been helpful in highlighting some of the warning signs, but I suspect it will still be harder to know if there's a significant problem. |