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Why is one acceptable and the other not?... I know both parties did something wrong.
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Everyone has done "something" wrong. It's a question of whether what you've "done wrong" justifies the penalty someone else wants to impose (for their benefit, of course.) It would be like an insurance company refusing to reimburse you for your car being stolen because you didn't tell them you'd been cited for making an illegal U-turn. Their excuse for not paying you money they owe you isn't justified by what you "did wrong."
You gotta learn to smell a fishy story, Opie.