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D1 was on paper very similar to D2, except for an athletic hook, D1 madea poor list of schools and experienced many rejections, D2 got into 6/7, but her list was perfect for her (the hook did not hurt and actually shaped the list) D2s decline was D1's ED school and D2 was atually very relieved NOT to get in, as she was happy not to outshine her sister that specifically.
D3 is every bit as bright as her sisters, but not driven- a B or here there was no big deal, she's just enjoying the journey and not a compulsive studier. Here SATs were similar to her sisters, though her GPA lower than their perfection. I was always worried about D3 feeling 2nd best, instead, we have followed HER path, found schools that seem right for her, avoiding the factory of her sisters, put a great deal of energy into finding and discussing HER options.
Just yesterday she got admittance to an LAC with an $11k annual merit scholarship, so by finding her the right list, she feels as good as her sisters, because it is about finding fit.
D1 did not look for fit, she did what her friends were doing and that was her error. She is now in grad school and understands fit much better. She has found her people.
Help your 2nd student NOT focus on doing what older sibs did, but on what will be the right thing for him/her. Remind them also, that relatives and friends may be clueless and not to worry about anything they say!
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