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you have to not define success as "acceptances to top schools" mentality, that is where the problem starts
Success is so different from person to person
And its these words like "top" "prestige" "lower tier" that don't help
I would never even utter the words "lower tier" to either of my children or any of their friends
If you look at schools by fit, etc and not by ranking, preparation for failure, which seems to be the mindset, won't even be necessary
It has a lot to do with termonlogy, how the parents discuss the process with relatives, how gracious the relatives are, etc
As for comparisons, just tell family to stop it if they do that....
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