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corranged · 11-26-2007, 04:00 PM

I'm with Chocoholic. At her age, she doesn't need to share details of her life with you; she doesn't need to tell you she's going to a party or sleeping over her boyfriend's or skipping a class. When confronted about these things, she may lie. Is the lying wrong? Maybe. But maybe it's also wrong to expect that sort of information. When my parents call and ask what I'm planning on doing on a Saturday night, I usually tell them something that I plan on doing in the evening and omit whatever my plans are for the night. I guess it's lying, but it's also not information that they need to know.

I also think that Doubleplay is correct. My parents don't think I drink, and I've purposefully led them to believe that because I don't want to be questioned or confronted or lectured about it. A few weeks ago I was probably drugged with some sort of date rape drug, which means that I have essentially no memory of the events that followed, besides a few random moments in time, and even those are very fuzzy. It was a confusing situation since I couldn't really know what had happened. I did not go to the ER or get drug tests, though, because the bill would be sent to my parents and I did not want them to know. I had been drinking that night, and I had been on a date with a girl. They do not know I drink, and they are not comfortable with my homosexuality, and I just didn't want to deal with their reactions to any of it. It's important for parents to understand the degree students will go to keep some things private. Maybe some parents force their children to believe they have to act like this.

Little kids lie about things they feel guilty about. College students lie about things they want to avoid talking about. Is it really necessary that you know whether or not she's drinking at any point in time? If it's not vital information, just let it go. I also think that you should stop peaking at her behind her back. If you want, be open about it and friend her. Among other things, it will probably push her to make her profile more private, which she should do.

11-26-2007, 04:00 PM	#62
corranged Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 3,712	I'm with Chocoholic. At her age, she doesn't need to share details of her life with you; she doesn't need to tell you she's going to a party or sleeping over her boyfriend's or skipping a class. When confronted about these things, she may lie. Is the lying wrong? Maybe. But maybe it's also wrong to expect that sort of information. When my parents call and ask what I'm planning on doing on a Saturday night, I usually tell them something that I plan on doing in the evening and omit whatever my plans are for the night. I guess it's lying, but it's also not information that they need to know. I also think that Doubleplay is correct. My parents don't think I drink, and I've purposefully led them to believe that because I don't want to be questioned or confronted or lectured about it. A few weeks ago I was probably drugged with some sort of date rape drug, which means that I have essentially no memory of the events that followed, besides a few random moments in time, and even those are very fuzzy. It was a confusing situation since I couldn't really know what had happened. I did not go to the ER or get drug tests, though, because the bill would be sent to my parents and I did not want them to know. I had been drinking that night, and I had been on a date with a girl. They do not know I drink, and they are not comfortable with my homosexuality, and I just didn't want to deal with their reactions to any of it. It's important for parents to understand the degree students will go to keep some things private. Maybe some parents force their children to believe they have to act like this. Little kids lie about things they feel guilty about. College students lie about things they want to avoid talking about. Is it really necessary that you know whether or not she's drinking at any point in time? If it's not vital information, just let it go. I also think that you should stop peaking at her behind her back. If you want, be open about it and friend her. Among other things, it will probably push her to make her profile more private, which she should do.
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