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I am most concerned about not unconsciously lowering expectations for D2. I do think there are subtle signals we send as parents that can lead the younger sibling to expect less of themselves. It's not that we don't love and cherish them as much. It's just a function, I think, of age and fatigue and family dynamics
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Same with my family. Age and fatigue seems to ring true.
Except it does not work with D2. She is a go getter and a superachiever. She has received no help from mom, maybe a little from dad. While D1 received much more attention from mom. I just let her be herself. D2 is naturally very competitive.
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Sometimes I do float lower expectation balloons with D2 -- potential colleges that are less selective --
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It does not work. D2 is aspiring for HYP and Oxford like while D1 never even considered HYP. So much for the lower expectation theory.
