| "Her primary reservation about Vanderbilt is her continuing perception, even after our 2nd visit, that it’s a rich kids’ school. She knows not everyone there is rich, but feels that those who are set the prevailing tone. She’s sensitive to the issue because our high school’s environment is very materialistic, and she doesn’t want to spend another 4 years as the one without the Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and selection of Coach handbags. I pointed out all the kids we saw wearing jeans – she pointed out our tour guide’s Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses and that the jeans hadn’t come from Old Navy"
I'm going to weigh in here on the issue of "rich kids schools." My daughter attends one with a similar reputation and she truly feels that subtle pressure to conform to those "who set the prevailing tone." That is a great way to put it. She knows that she's as financially well off as most of those kids but as she recently told me, she can do cute, preppy, Coach some of the time but it's wearisome to do it day after day. That's not her and she struggles to fit in there (to the point that she is thinking of transferring to the big state U) because she knows, in her heart, that she's not really like most of the kids there.
Now having said that, a lot of her social discomfort is a result of her own doing. She hasn't really gotten herself out into the social fabric of the university and has limited herself to her freshman dorm friends. She participates in a few campus activities but her social skills are still developing and it's not an easy road for her at a place where this stuff matters. If you've got a daughter who is more social and willing to put herself "out there" then it may very well be a moot point.
Just some food for thought. But those are both great choices and congratulations to both of you on her accomplishment! |