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You certainly seem to be obsessed with the possibility of rejection. If you get it, be cool with it. If you don't get in, be cool with that as well and move on to SIMUW or other summer experience. But obsessing about whether you're the right urm to get in or whether someone wasted time writing a rec letter for you to get into CalTech seems "mentally unhealthy."
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Forgive me for my lack of understanding of human emotions, but I thought that thinking that I would be rejected would sound a bit... humble and knowledgable about my limits, rather than pretentious in applying to all of these reach programs. Though applying to all of these programs for the sake of applying isn't very healthy, at least I can reflect on the practice I've gotten from applying. And it is imortant for later apps because I can't ask my teachers for too much.