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Parent Involvement?

J11TJ11T Posts: 70- Junior Member
I know my parents were involved as far as giving me advise and money to buy test prep books, pay for tests and that kind of thing, they were willing to put down money if they thought it would help out in the future.

How much of a role do you parents take in the admissions process? Do you think they want to be able to communicate with other parents who have kids going through the same thing? Do they have time to do that, are they already looking for ways to connect with other parents?
Post edited by J11T on

Replies to: Parent Involvement?

  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Posts: 11,697Registered User Senior Member
    I think this varies tremendously. On cc, if you read both parent and student posts, you can see there is large variation, but even that doesn't reflect the range that goes on in the real world. I think parents who frequent and post on CC probably reflect a fairly extreme level of involvement (not that there's anything wrong with that!)
  • nickel75nickel75 Posts: 155Registered User Junior Member
    My mom didn't even know what colleges I was applying too until right before Christmas. She put zero pressure on me and trust that I was handling everything well (which I did). She only gave me the credit card to pay application fees and CollegeBoard fees (probably just as much as the app fees). I was glad that I was allowed to completely control the admissions process because I will have to spend four years at college, not her. My dad on the other hand probably still doesn't know where I'm applying, lol. It was best this way. They both showed enough interest to let me know they care but not too much for them to be overbearing. Parent involvement for me has been perfect and the college process has been going pretty well so far for me. No complaints
  • superwomansuperwoman Posts: 751Registered User Member
    My parents to tell you the truth don't even know how any of my applications look like or even where I applied to until I told them. I did everything on my own. It all depends on the child and the parent. I am VERY independent and I take control of everything which probably contributed to my applying to all the schools I did by myself. My parents have never attended school in America as well so everything I was doing was already new to them..They're happy though that they never had to worry about anything. Especially since I applied to 12 schools with fee waivers from all my schools, I found ways to avoid them from stressing themselves over things they didn't know how to deal with. My parents though have been very supportive in terms of giving me money for other ventures that were related to my education. I was admitted into Harvard Summer School but it would cost us almost $4, 000; they were willing to pay for me to do something productive with my summer. Although I didn't end up going because I won a competition and ended up in New York all expenses paid in the summer, it was still nice to know they were willing to sacrifice that much for me :)

    I think it all depends on the parents, I'm sure a good support network of parents together trying to help better their children's future is very good, but you never know if one of those parent's may have a child like me lol whose already five steps ahead lol.
  • J11TJ11T Posts: 70- Junior Member
    Thats very interesting.

    Shrinkrap - do you think if more parents knew about a resource like CC they would be more inclined to get involved? Or maybe they might be interested in learning from parents who have been successful with their children..Maybe they would like to discuss different resources available to their kids in a particular region of the country. What are your thoughts

    Superwoman / nickel75 - You guys seem pretty proactive! Would you be interested in sharing your experiences, and the resources you used to be successful, the things you learned, etc? The purpose would be to help out other students or parents looking for guidance. Do you think that would actually help others? I'm thinking of starting some sort of service that would showcase successful students and parents for the purpose of inspiration coupled with practical steps for those who want to be successful.

    Also, is there anything that could have made the admissions process easier for you?
  • BananaPopBananaPop Posts: 138Registered User Junior Member
    I did the majority of my admissions process by myself. My parents helped me with like fees, only if I needed it bc I work. They went on campus visits with me, but that is normal. I mean I was able to pick out the school, and I didnt feel stressed to pick a school that they wanted me to go to. I was given free range to pick colleges, as long as they weren't too far away, which I am now okay with. They were very supportative, and were willing to pay for summer programs like superwoman's parents. My admissions process was pretty independent I think, because I know kids whose parents like wrote their essays for them, and picked out their schools, which to me is pretty crazy.
  • superwomansuperwoman Posts: 751Registered User Member
    Well I definetly had difficulty at first beginning a list of colleges but there's this organization called Girls Incorporated which inspires girls to be strong, smart, and bold. There, I began a mentoring program around last year where we had a mentor that helped us with guidance but because I am so independent, I barely used my mentor. It helped me though when we started having mock interviews, which helped with my college interviews and how I should portray myself in such a setting. I used that, I also did alot of research on my own...I read everything and anything about all my schools backgrounds, student testimonials, I called the school and spoke with students myself. I called about majors, minors, I visited most of my schools but I had to do so alone. My parents worked everyday and were barely home so I had to find ways of visiting my schools. The only schools I did end up visiting with my parents (2) I only applied to one. At Girls Incorporated we had trips to tour colleges so I used that opportunity. I applied to 4 out-of-state schools and visited 2, both of the visits were by luck lol. This summer I was invited to Girls Incoporated Goldman Sachs Corporate Camp for Entrepreneurs where we had two weeks all expenses paid trip to New York. During the first week we were there we vowed to explore Manhattan, especially since our hotel would be right next to Central Park. So we took a train and walked around where Columbia was located. Across the street there was a little school with the sign Barnard at the top, with these beautiful gates guarding the entrance. I had to go look, so we stopped by and had a tour, by the end of the tour I was convinced I was applying there. The next accident was when I got an email saying that Brown University was having a college fair abotu 2 hours before it would start. I called my father last minute, asked if we could go and we drove there, within two hours we were at Brown. Mind you I only attended so I could meet students from OTHER colleges, I had no intention or interest in Brown itself. When I got there I was completely won over by the students, the campus, simply gorgeous! I think my college list was definetly created by a series of incidental discoveries in addition to the dedication I had for finding a school I wanted to spend the next four years in. I don't think my parents could have added or taken away anything from the things I've learned if they were involved in the process. I'm just so independent that I chose my schools with responsibility and not with a blindfold on my eyes. I was more concerned with how I would do there, rather then the name itself. The most important thing for students to know who are going through the application process is to TAKE CONTROL. Don't concern yourself with where other people would like you to go, or which school is the highest ranked in the US. Make sure first that the schools is right for you, visit visit visit! That's the best advice I could give you. I payed $70 to visit Cornell in December of last year, to only realize that I didn't like it! Take advantage of visiting because you can easily tell if your going to fit in or be comfortable somewhere very quickly, like I did. I'm not saying anything bad about Cornell, it's a great school! It's just not for me. Easier..hmm, I don't really know, I felt like the process was easy for me. If everything is done as early as possible it gives the student room to breathe, more time to send in things that were'nt received. I sent my material in for all my schools the first week of December, while the kids in my class were scurrying to send their materials in before christmas vacation. Good Luck with your idea, I think that would be a great idea maybe directed at minorities in general because my guidance counselor didn't help me one bit. All he kept saying was "you might get some scholarship money of you apply to x, y, and z"....they never helped me. Girls Incorporated was a great support network that I think alot of teens need whether boy or girl, so they can make their own future.
  • BananaPopBananaPop Posts: 138Registered User Junior Member
    My guidance counselor doesn't even tell me about scholarships. I have to find them and give them to her. lol. Girls Incorporated sounds like a nice program to be in. I'm woth Superwoman on not listening to what anyone says about where YOU are going. They will not be going to the college you will, so make sure that you really like where you will be spending the next four or so years. :)
  • J11TJ11T Posts: 70- Junior Member
    superwoman - Thank you for all you wrote! I'm glad to see you took such proactive steps in your life.

    By the way, what are your plans for the summer?
  • SilvermoonlockSilvermoonlock Posts: 469Registered User Junior Member
    I think some parents (African American) may not be aware of what is needed. I have run into some that know they want their children to go to college, but have no idea as to what they need to do or even where to start.

    I learned a lot talking to other parents who whose children preceded my daughter. I was armed with some information before the process started. One thing was very striking to me. The kid attended a PWI high school. During sporting events the parents would talk everything about college. This gave us incredible foresight. I am not clear if I wouldhave had these conversations with the parents at the City's public high schools.

    Finally, I, as a fair share of other parents stumbled onto this site, doing Google searches. I wanted to know just what a National Achievement Semi-Finalist / Finalist meant. Boy, was I surprised!!! I got a lot of good information here and now I make sure to spread the knowledge I have to every single parent.

    Good luck!
  • J11TJ11T Posts: 70- Junior Member
    Do you think college confidential is the best way to spread your knowledge?
  • GA2012MOMGA2012MOM Posts: 4,954Registered User Senior Member
    "Do you think College Confidential is the best way to spread your knowledge?"

    As a parent, I tell ANYBODY who will listen about this site. I very often get questions re college because D was in the newspaper about being a Questbridge match. I will happily refer CC, as without me stumbling upon it, and advice from seasoned parents such as Sybbie and Norsthstarmom, my D would not be at the great place she is. Not for her lack of anything, but just the fact that she/I had no knowledge about things such as need based aid, Questbridge, free diversity open houses that allowed her to visit a campus, Gates scholarship, etc. She attended a large public HS that is the #2 feeder school to our state flagship U, and counselors push kids in that direction. Nothing wrong with that, but it was not a good fit for my child.
  • superwomansuperwoman Posts: 751Registered User Member
    J11T- I applied for the Summer in Genomics Research Program at Harvard/MIT, although I wasn't admitted it, I kind of knew that especially since I found out a little late and because I wasn't only competing with other High School students but also College students too, whom probably had much more research exposure then I did! But the great part was that they decided to take my application and forward it to another program called CURE (The Continuing Umbrella of Research Experiences), it is a mentored research experience augmented with lab experience, career advisement, presentation skills, and public displays of findings to a world-renowned scientific community at Dana Farber Cancer Center/Harvard Cancer Center. So, I'm waiting to hear from them as well. I'm looking forward to a science-related program whether it is that program, or another.
  • J11TJ11T Posts: 70- Junior Member
    superwoman - I hope that CURE works out for you!
  • superwomansuperwoman Posts: 751Registered User Member
    Thank you, i hope so too! And Good Luck with your idea! :)
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