manifestation

My son was born to an addicted birth mom, who died when he was 2. He spent several years in foster care, eventually adopted by me as a single mom. He has 8 siblings, most of whom he doesn't know, and none of whom have ever even gone to college. K is bright, model-good-looking, likeable, and cares about his grades. But he has never been a good test taker. I think it kicks up his fears of being measured/ possibly "rejected" or exposed as "not good enough." (It was a big wound for him when foster family didn't adopt him, and that fear of rejection is deep!) Long story short, 85 average (unweighted, some Honors and one AP class), very mediocre SATs (taking them again). He wants to study broadcasting/communications, dreams of going to Ithaca or Syracuse but since we visited those schools the other day, he's been very down on himself and saying things like "he should just go to community college" "I'll never get in..." etc. He thinks I believe in him just because I'm his mother, but I have some belief that an admission person might just WANT to give someone a break who has made it this far and not ended up in criminal justice system. What do you think? Should I keep encouraging him, or let him give up on himself?
Is he really doomed to community college level education?

sparknerd2010

No keep encouraging him. Don't let him give up on himself and don't allow yourself to give up on him. Colleges due take into account how a student overcame hardships. Schools are also taken with good students from families with little education or money. Your K seems to have the drive and determination to suceed, so giving up should not be an option for him. He should keep striving. Community college should be a last resort there are many great schools that would love to have your son. Ithaca and Syracuse are not out of reach, but is he gives up on himslef they are.

fmo

That is a truly remarkable story and I think he definitely has a shot at getting into those schools even if his scores are a little below average. Just make sure in his essay that he really explains the hardship he's gone through and does himself justice. I would definitely advise that you also consider other private schools as well, admissions is really hit or miss especially for a case like this and I wouldn't recommend applying to only two schools.

He definitely has a shot though don't let him get discouraged and miss this opportunity.

Millancad

Keep encouraging him! My cousin is of a somewhat similar background; he was born to a very unfortunate mother, found digging through trash for food for himself and his sister and taken into the system when he was about 5, spent several years in foster care, often cared for by people who couldn't communicate with his deaf sister, couldn't read when I met him at 8, and has huge guilt about doing well in school, since his mother couldn't do well in school and his sister is developmentally disabled. His average is like your son's, maybe a little bit higher, with some Honors but no APs, and he hasn't taken the SAT yet. His top choice is University of Maryland - College Park, and while he might not get in there, he has a chance, and he'll be going to a university, not a CC. Right now it's actually a problem that he's a little too set on UMaryland. He tagged along on my tour of Georgetown, which is admittedly pretty far out of his reach, and was totally unresponsive.
Remind him that 85 is a good average. If that gives him a pretty high rank at his school, mention that. Let him see that other adults, family, friends, also think that he's going to make it.

manifestation

Thanks to all of you for the encouragement. Now I just have to convey that to him. He was very excited to visit and see the kinds of schools he wants to go to, but the crash afterward when he managed to convince himself that it was pointless to apply has been horrible to witness. I hope its just part of a process he has to go through.
This is a great link, glad I found it, and thanks for everyone's input.