UNcynical

Don't assume that all of the cadre members are out to crush the spirits of and embarrass all of the basics with their mail, as I hardly think that is the case.

When I worked basic, the only things I took away were gum, candy, and an article that one of my basics' parents had sent him that was ABOUT me.

There's really no use getting upset about things that could possibly in some way maybe sort of kind of potentially happen. I can't guarantee anything, but the vast majority of cadre members (every year) are very professional.

Plus, the firsties (seniors) this year can't be THAT bad, considering the members of MY class served as their primary trainers, hehe. Seriously, though, I know SEVERAL of the flight commanders working BCT as they were my "kids" and I can attest to their good character.

funnyesq

I'm sure MOST are doing the proper job.

My concern is for the FEW that are being reported here. One parent wrote that her son was made to read his letter out loud. Without more information, it seems totally inappropriate. It also seems totally inappropriate to take comics and news clippings (sports scores) just because they aren't on white paper.

Candy and the like...of course is contraband.

With every group there are usually a few that break the rules and make the rest look bad. Sad. Leadership is not about bullying.

UNcynical

Part of the Academy experience is learning not only what leadership styles are admirable but also which ones are not beneficial. Ideally, all leaders would be perfect and their folowers could just immulate their actions to succeed, however, this is not the case. (Even leaders at the highest levels of the military may not handle all things appropriately, even with their decades of experience.) Keep in mind that for many cadets, BCT is the first true taste of leadership they have, and they deal with it in different ways. Your children will learn a lot from these interactions. From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that even as a "repeatedly singled out basic cadet" (with a few immature and unprofessional cadre members), it is possible to not only make it through BCT and all four years at the Academy but to become a stronger and better person and leader as a result.

funnyesq

Oh...reality...that's a good point....True in life and I'm sure the military there are good leaders and bad leaders and reality is one may encounter both on at least a few ocassions...including leaders who break rules etc. Sad...but true and I guess that is the reality that one has to get used to and that BCT probably helps to prepare for. Yes sir, whether you agree or disagree whether it's as a result of appropriate action or inappropriate action...you have to pick you battles so to speak.

I just find it difficult when stuff is blatantly inappropriate...but we are hearing ONE side.

fencersmother

While I thought the confiscation of regular letters (albeit with the photocopied pictures on them) was a little over the top, I can understand some of the reasons for this. My complaint, such as it is, is that the parents weren't told not to photocopy pictures (as I said before, we were all doing it just for this purpose at the parents group luncheon!). We weren't told not to send cards, or newspaper clippings, or comics, or whatever. I wish I had known that, especially, cards would be banned. They cost a lot more money to buy than photocopying a picture from graduation.

And, I don't want to give the wrong impression. Son was not complaining about it, but just letting us know, emphatically, that we were to have only plain envelopes, paper, etc. with no inclusions. Since we learned that, it's been plain white all the way. No colored ink! No pencil, no crayons, markers, chalk, glitter, confetti... just white paper and blue or black ink.

Question: shall I hold onto the cards until after 2nd BCT? Will they be allowed them in the academic year?

fencersmother

Here is another question:

How about birthday cards and postcards? I have sent both to other cadets. Did I waste my money there, too? Did the cadets take heat because some ol' lady in Steeler Country sent him or her a postcard of Ben Roethlisberger or our Super Bowl trophies?

AFDAD2010

funnyesq - I think you will find that there is a LOT more unfair things that will happen over the next year that are a lot worse than the reading of someone's mail (as bad as that is). I'm afraid it's a part of the whole ordeal. My son has a list of things that he will emulate as a leader and a list of things he's seen that he will never do as one of the Cadre. What Uncynical says is spot on -- they learn from it all.

Marine75-78

Send a card to an airman in Iraq or Afganistan.....

They can get anything......

07PETKO

Fencersmom - things are much more relaxed (in some regards) during the academic year. As four degrees, they'll be able to go to the mailroom alone, whenever they want, and receive anything they want.

And it's absolutely true that you learn from all of it. You see the good, the bad, and the ugly - what works, and what doesn't. You try to emulate the people that you respect, and avoid repeating things that seemed ineffective or wrong. It's a learning process for all parties involved.

2012falconflygrl

Our parents club had surveys they sent us to copy and send our kids. (Of course, you have to address and stamp an envelope if you want it back.) They are pretty funny, and they can mark their answers and if they want, they can make a comment beside it. I have gotten those back quickly and HNeedle told me to send more because it was so easy to communicate. That way, he doesn't have to sit and think of what to write. I just ask what I want to know. HE is having a BLAST! Military Guy All The WAY!!!! Loves the food, Cadre are good, etc. Does this sound like a Cadre dictating... lol j/k

moltadolcee

Ooooo falconflygrl, I love the idea, can you pm me one of those surveys? I will send one to my son... great great idea!!

hornetguy

fencersmother - Don't worry! You didn't waste anything! Even in the event they were confiscated (which they may well might NOT have been), I'm sure they were able and/or allowed to see and read them first which means you made somebody's day a little better! My mom sent me cards all of BCT and I always felt better with an "I love you" card in my box or a couple photocopied pictures (although I hid those! ). In a few days I can help you out by letting you know the real story from the cadre.

AFDAD2010- I'm looking forward to watching benjo and the rest of tiger ten's new cadre meet our basics, rude awakening. I expect I might be needed at some point!

falconflygirl - glad you brought that up, reminds me of what my mom and I did that helped with the little time I had. Parents (if you haven't already figured it out!) a good way to get something back: have a set of questions with blanks after that they can answer in (of even just circling an answer!). Then, leave some room at the bottom or back of the page for a short letter. Include a pre-stamped and addressed envelope along with the paper in the letter you send. That way it takes all of 5 minutes to write the letter and it can be out that night/morning.

bearsinaz

Hello all,

We received a letter from our son today. He is in Jaguars, Flight D. These are his exact words regarding cards, pictures, etc. Now maybe it is different for each squadron and or flight but this is how it is for those in his.

This is his own words about the cards, pictures, etc.



“Oh, but please start sending the pictures completely separate from your cards or writing. Including cards with pictures on them put the writing separate please, because those are confiscated after I read them.”

I hope this helps. Know they aren't a waste and are greatly appreciated.

fencersmother

I have been sending "surveys" to my boys and they do come back. The first one was pretty basic:

How was your flight out?______________
Who is your roommate? ________________
How are you acclimating to the high altitude? ___________________

After that, I wised up. Now, I send them every 4 or 5 days and they are fun. The guys send them back right away and write all kinds of comments on them. For instance:

1) The food here:
a. is great! I want recipes!
b. ok, but I am in no danger of gaining weight
c. this is food?

2) My cadre members:
a. are pretty great
b. are ok, but they must have had a bad homelife.
c. need lessons in manners for gentile living
d. are Satan's spawn

3) My first SAMI:
a. went great. It was easy since that's how we live at home (Lots of hilarious comments about this)
b. was ok, except I have never made a bed in my life before now.
c. was ok, except I am sure my roommate was born in a barn
d. brought on stomach cramps and fainting spells

This approach seemed to give them a psychological break and enable them to blow off some steam without having them put "my cadre sucks" in their own pen on the paper. And, both had positive things to say too, which made my day. Don't forget the SASE, though, or you may not see the results of your handiwork.

Falcons '11

haha, yeah, I remember my mom sending me surveys like that. I would highly recommend them, as they take hardly any time to respond to. Once they start 2nd Beast and go out to Jack's, they will likely have a few seconds every night and occasionally some time on Sundays that they could spend writing and that's it (unless they want to keep the other people in the tent up), so surveys may be your best way to stay in communication with your Basic when they're in Jacks.