GroogWaugh

289 bottles of beer on the wall
289 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
288 bottles of beer on the wall

Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

eagle36

288 bottles of beer on the wall
288 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
287 bottles of beer on the wall


"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on." — Oscar Levant.

GroogWaugh

287 bottles of beer on the wall
287 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
286 bottles of beer on the wall

Take a drink
And you'll sink
In a state of pure inebriation
You'll be tanked
Like the whole Irish nation!
When you drink enough of my beer
You will find this magic rule
Make your every joke a jewel
You'll drive drunker than Oskana Maiul!
Go on buds
Drink my suds
Till you've reached that pure inebriation
Though the beer may be free

YouTube - Family Guy / willy wonka parody

You're just renting it from me

eagle36

286 bottles of beer on the wall
286 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
285 bottles of beer on the wall

"Legal drinking age in poland is 'I have 3 euros'."
— Cheater.

eagle36

285 bottles of beer on the wall
285 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
284 bottles of beer on the wall


"Why is American beer served cold ? So you can tell it from urine."
— David Moulton.

GroogWaugh

284 bottles of beer on the wall
284 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
283 bottles of beer on the wall

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

eagle36

283 bottles of beer on the wall
283 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
282 bottles of beer on the wall

"Drink Beer ! It removes unsightly flab and wrinkles ! (on the person you're looking at, if you drink enough of it)"

hornetguy

282 bottles of beer on the wall
282 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
281 bottles of beer on the wall

"Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder."

GroogWaugh

281 bottles of beer on the wall
281 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
280 bottles of beer on the wall

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Cliff
Cheers

eagle36

280 bottles of beer on the wall
280 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
279 bottles of beer on the wall

"The Puritans brought more beer than water on the Mayflower as they departed for the New World."

GroogWaugh

279 bottles of beer on the wall
279 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
278 bottles of beer on the wall

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle. -- Henny Youngman

hornetguy

278 bottles of beer on the wall
278 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
277 bottles of beer on the wall

From man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world. -- Saint Arnoldus

eagle36

277 bottles of beer on the wall
277 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
276 bottles of beer on the wall

"I gave up smokin, women, and drinkin last night, and it was the worst 15 minutes of my life."
-Rodney Atkins in his song "15 minutes"

eagle36

276 bottles of beer on the wall
276 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
275 bottles of beer on the wall

"Intoxicated /adj./ When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it."

eagle36

275 bottles of beer on the wall
275 bottles of beer
take one down, pass it around,
274 bottles of beer on the wall

"Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time."