D3 Recruit Applied ED, Now the wait... - Page 2

CapitalFoodie · 10-30-2012, 12:10 PM

Just wondering...has anyone had any experience with coaches who acted "slighted" when s/d made their final ED1 decision and turned them down? i.e. even though the athlete made it clear they were looking at several schools.

145bluz · 10-30-2012, 12:51 PM

No, but every coach wanted to know what school she picked for ED1. A few coaches were curious about level of support from ED1 school. Also, I think it was a good learning experience for D to talk to coaches (whom she really liked) and tell them about her decision.She really hated to tell them.

LivesinHobbiton · 10-30-2012, 02:44 PM

LOL 145bluz, in answer to your question, YES, I wish this were over!

As to sharing with others, we've been pretty open with people. Before D began this process I thought we were going to keep quiet, but then we started talking to friends going through the same process and realized that the secretive people just sounded strange, LOL...I mean, there's no shame if you don't get admitted. I understand keeping your thoughts to yourself before you finally choose a school, but once you call all the coaches with your decision, everyone finds out anyway. When D made her ED choice, the coach immediately called his swimmers and they all texted/facebooked with congrats, etc. It just isn't possible to keep it totally quiet.

Capital, every coach was really nice and said they would be happy to hear from D if she did not get into her ED choice. However...there was one coach who continued to aggressively tell her how much he wanted her and who else had committed to his team, etc. I think he also had his athletes texting and emailing and asking her why she wasn't coming, which was so awkward, since it isn't possible to reply honestly to that kind of question without insulting their program (you can't say, "I liked the dorms better at X" or "I liked the facilities better at Y"). And D would definitely consider that program as a backup choice so she doesn't want to offend anyone there. So phew, no really bad reactions, just this one slightly uncomfortable one.

CapitalFoodie · 10-31-2012, 01:57 PM

On our end, we've had some disappointing "rejected" coach responses. Although one was supportive, he told our kid flat out that he thought he'd gone with an inferior school. Another was almost hostile. Seemed to think that his team was first choice, even though he'd never made it clear where he ranked our son in terms of recruits. We tried to be honest throughout the process, but still ending up taking flak. And what's with grilling a kid as to why he/she chose another school over theirs? In my mind, it's a personal decision, and none of their business. Am I wrong?

gracie03 · 10-31-2012, 02:44 PM

My son had a similar response, Capital. One coach (non-ivy) wished him the best of luck and was very gracious, while the second coach (ivy) couldn't imagine what the school he chose (another ivy) could possibly offer over his school. He did grill him a bit and didn't seem to want to let it go, like this might make my son change his mind! He also was never really clear where my son stood on his list of recruits. All of this made my son all the more sure of his decision, btw.

CapitalFoodie · 10-31-2012, 03:15 PM

Gracie...that's our feeling as well. We're seeing their true colors....maybe not a bad thing in retrospect.

LivesinHobbiton · 10-31-2012, 05:21 PM

You know, the one school where the coach behaved aggressively after d called him to say she was doing ED elsewhere...we had strange vibes about him from the start. I think his reaction to her decision confirms what we felt about him.

I agree, capital, that the hard sell is really unattractive. No matter what the coach says, d isn't about to be honest about why another school beat out his school. I can't imagine how this information would be of use to him anyway, as I'm sure he will have a team that is eager to be there and just as good as the others in the conference.

fenwaysouth · 11-01-2012, 08:29 AM

gracie, Capital and Lives,

Coaches come in all sorts of attitudes just as recruits do. The coaches reaction tells me that they read your intentions wrong, and he wants to understand why because he is doing this professionally. He can't afford to let it happen again. The coaches that handle rejection better are most likely your more experienced coaches who've been around the block a few times.

Just think....If you're in luck, you may face that coach 4 times in 4 years on the field, track, pool, etc.... ;-).

This rejection thing works both ways. My son has told me about some kids that have it out for a particular coach/school in the same conference because they were passed over by another recruit. Trust me, it can be strong motivation. I've seen it.

Congrats and good luck!

LivesinHobbiton · 11-01-2012, 02:26 PM

Fenway, I'm sure you are right. I am disappointed in this one coach because d liked the school and team so much, and still considers it a great backup choice. He appears to be very disorganized, which I think gave me the odd vibe. I am hoping that d gets into her ED choice so that we don't have to think about backup choices at all!

etondad · 11-01-2012, 11:29 PM

It wasn't college but prep school when my D decided to go to the rival school I got a call from the coach--not to talk her out of her decision (was too late for that anyway)--but to find out what the factors were that lead her to make the choice she did. He was--and is a gentleman--and every time they saw each other for the next four years they would go out of their way to say hi. He really wanted to know if there was a problem that he might be able to address in the next recruiting season. I respected that and spoke with him honestly.

livandlearn · 11-13-2012, 04:10 PM

With the ED deadline approaching the coach reached out to my son to see if he needed any assistant in submitting his application or supporting documentation. The coach told my son that he is preparing a document that will be included in the application file. He reiterated that my son is an important part of his class and he will position him the best way possible to gain admission.

We remain encouraged and hopeful that an acceptance letter is forthcoming. December 15 cant arrive soon enough. Good luck to all!

GarnetTide · 11-15-2012, 06:45 PM

S just applied ED to a NESCAC school for football. Coach offered strong support but S has an excellent EDII option as well as two very good RD choices as backup. Long recruiting process since S was also considering Patriot and Ivy League. However, he loves the balance of the NESCAC. As a parent I was extremely impressed by staff and the academic focus. Top notch football program but even better academics. Keeping our fingers crossed.

fenwaysouth · 11-16-2012, 07:21 AM

Quote:

S just applied ED to a NESCAC school for football. Coach offered strong support but S has an excellent EDII option as well as two very good RD choices as backup. Long recruiting process since S was also considering Patriot and Ivy League. However, he loves the balance of the NESCAC. As a parent I was extremely impressed by staff and the academic focus. Top notch football program but even better academics

GarnetTide,

Your post is a perfect "example" (for aspiring recruits and parents of aspiring recruits) to read IMHO. Your son set his athletic and academic goals. He researched the options, shopped around, and selected the schools that best represented his long term interests. He looked at a variety of schools with the same common thread.....academics in mind. This is how it is done well, when you take the time to learn about the process and start early in the process. You end up with some great options. Congrats!

145bluz · 11-30-2012, 03:13 PM

2 more weeks for the ed 1 verdict. D has started the countdown. I can tell she is starting to get a little nervous.

Threesdad · 11-30-2012, 04:03 PM

145bluz.....do you do the shuffle if residing on E Street?