How to politely reject a coach/college

Jumper101 · 09-13-2010, 07:26 PM

In the past few weeks, I've been gettting a crazy number of calls from different colleges, some of which are from my top choices. However, there have been ones from colleges I have never heard from, or never want to attend (community colleges). When the coach calls, how should I break it to them that I'm not interested? Or should I still say I'm interested until I commit to a college and then break it to them?

I'm doing my best to cast a wide net, but there are just some colleges I really am not interested in.

doubtful · 09-13-2010, 07:40 PM

I think that you have to be mindful that there is a community of coaches that communicate with each other about recruits. However, if you did not initiate contact and have absolutely no interest in the school, I think it best to not lead them on and politely say something to the effect of " thank you for your interest, but I'm considering other schools at this time".

Jumper101 · 09-13-2010, 08:10 PM

I'm expecting a call from a college that I'm not really interested in pretty soon. At school today one of the new teachers came up to me and was like "hey my coach at ____ would like to talk to you about track. Can I get your number so I can give it to him?" So TECHNICALLY I was the one who initiated contact by agreeing to give out my number to him...but I felt as if I didn't have a choice. I didn't want to be rude and say "no"
What should I say?

fishymom · 09-13-2010, 08:43 PM

I agree about not leading a coach on if you are not interested, but it doesn't hurt to learn more about a school and program you have not researched. My daughter is also getting lots of calls and emails from schools she is not interested in. It is a lot to handle at an already busy time, but it is a part of the process.

mayhew · 09-13-2010, 09:15 PM

My daughter had to say "thanks but no thanks" to something like 25-30 schools - and they represented a wide range of institutions. Some huge Div. 1 schools to NESCACs, and everything inbetween, it seemed. She answered every email pretty quickly, in fairness to other potential recruits, and if the school was Div. 3, she wrote that at this time, she is pursuing being a part of a Div. 1 program, but if that should change, she would be sure to let them know. For Div. 1 programs at huge schools, she said that she was interested in a smaller school, and at schools that might have seemed like a possible match in size and academics, but she really wasn't interested, she wrote that she didn't feel the school would be the right fit for her. Almost every single coach wrote back, thanking her for getting back to them and to please let them know if anything changes. I know that the speedy and polite responses were genuinely appreciated - and good too, because then neither you nor the coaches of these schools are wasting time. There is surely someone else out there who would love that coach's attention - do that unknown person and the coach a favor! Good luck with it all

jerseygirl in ct · 09-13-2010, 11:20 PM

Also, make sure to say if the school does not have the major you are interested in or is geographically not for you. Those are not things a coach can control and as such are not taken as personally as other reasons. I agree that the quicker the better if there is NO chance you are interested. But just remember, it is a small circle of coaches and they do talk to each other, so a reason you give to one coach may make it back to another through word of mouth.

riverrunner · 09-13-2010, 11:51 PM

These coaches aren't going to have hurt feelings. Like you, they are just trying to figure out who's on their short list. It's OK to be brief and direct. "Thanks but this isn't the state, league, school I want." You don't have to give any reason at all, if you don't want to. Just save everyone some time and communicate promptly.

fogfog · 09-14-2010, 05:20 PM

^^ It's true
and I think the coaches have appreciated that kiddo has responded yes or no as far as interest in each school/program.
Would be nice if ALL coaches were as good as THEY hoped to students to be when it comes to communicating..

Jumper101 · 09-14-2010, 06:17 PM

Thanks for all the responses! I defintely have a clearer idea of what to say...

Now the bigger problem: Tongue-tied when speaking to coaches from schools I'm really really really interested in hahahaha

Going on OV to #2 choice school next week! SO NERVOUS :P

minoafrau · 09-14-2010, 07:29 PM

Good luck! Remember, all the kids you meet were once in your position so just try to relax and enjoy yourself.

varska · 09-14-2010, 07:41 PM

Hey Jumper, enjoy your visit - and remember, they are having you out because you have skills that can help their team. They want to make a good impression on you, too.

Jumper101 · 09-14-2010, 10:35 PM

Thanks for the assurances! Haha I will need some advice...

OH GOD, didn't have the heart to say "no don't talk to me anymore about college X" again....I'm a terrible person. Here's what happened: Got a call, coach wanted me to tell him what I know about College X, what major I'm looking at, out of state or in state, told me about the program, told me "Exellent! We have your major!" and "College X is out of state, you will like the program" and ask if he can call back. I said sure. What am I suppose to say to that? "No you may not call me ever again, I am not interested, but thanks" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM NOT TRYING TO LEAD THEM ON!!!

mayhew · 09-14-2010, 10:48 PM

Jumper101 - I feel for you! It is SO much harder to say "no thanks" in an email than on the telephone - no fun at all........Maybe you then find the coach's email on his school's website, and send a followup email, saying thanks for the phone call, but you have decided not to pursue this avenue - then hopefully he won't call back?!

riverrunner · 09-14-2010, 10:49 PM

Jumper, IMO its OK to email this coach and thank him for the time he's taken to answer your questions, but that you are moving in a different direction with the schools you want to pursue. If he calls again, just reiterate that you're really not interested any more. Coaches understand that new opportunities present themselves almost daily for student athletes going through recruiting, and that they constantly revising their lists as they learn more about schools, get a call from a school they thought was out of their reach, and so on. It's OK to say no.

Best wishes on your dream school visit. Just be sincere about your interest. No one expects a 17 year old to be completely polished

Jumper101 · 09-15-2010, 07:30 PM

I just feel like such a bad person for saying "no."
And I eventually have to "no" to all but one college...which makes it twice as hard, especially when a coach has spent so much time communicating with me/arranging stuff for me to come over. That's part of the reason why my dad keeps on saying to me "go to ______, they have kept in contact you since junior year, spent a lot of time on you, genuinely wants you on the team." I understand what my dad is saying but this schools isn't my top choice...

Thanks, I'm staying two nights...is that two long? I asked the coach how long these visits are and said around two nights so I'm taking his word haha....