Mom thinks applying to Barnard would be "selling myself short"

pixiesticker · 12-03-2007, 07:10 PM

I've been really interested in applying to Barnard ever since I did a pre-college program there, but my mom seems to think that somehow by going to Barnard I would be "selling myself short". I think this is ridiculous - Barnard is one of the top schools in the country, and given my particular interest in liberal arts, music, writing and my desire for the kind of smaller community Barnard could offer, it seems like a really good fit.
My mom has said that I don't need an all-girls environment because I'm
capable of focusing when boys are around. She seems to think that girls just go there because they can't make it in a classroom with boys. I know that this isn't true, that Barnard produces strong, independent, intelligent women, but how do I convince my mom?

obiewoes · 12-03-2007, 07:25 PM

You might want to ask her if she thinks Hillary Clinton, a graduate of a women's college (Wellesley), has trouble concentrating when boys are around.

Actually, something like 20% of the current female congress members went to women's colleges. I'm pretty sure they can focus when men are around.

Other good names to drop: Madeleine Albright (also Wellesley). Nancy Pelosi (Trinity). Zora Neale Hurston (Barnard!) or Jhumpa Lahiri (Barnard '89, Pulitzer prize winner)...I could go on. There's a great list here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women's_colleges_in_the_United_States

Good luck! I hope this helps.

calmom · 12-03-2007, 08:42 PM

Barnard is not an all-girls environment. Mostly girls, but very definitely not all girls. (Those Columbia boys just keep infiltrating the place, plus the Barnard faculty has not yet figured out how to prevent the Barnard girls from crossing Broadway.)

Snivellus · 12-03-2007, 09:38 PM

I don't think going to an all women's college admits weakness or inferiority or anything.

To me, just applying there already shows how confident you are as a woman, that you don't need men around all the time.

And besides, Barnard isn't like most other all women colleges, in a sense that you aren't isolating yourself from the world and men. So, like all the brochures and college guides say... Barnard really is the "best of both worlds"

peace. · 12-03-2007, 10:36 PM

I agree with what everyone else said here...Barnard is definitely not like other women's colleges in that there is still interaction between both sexes because of the city environment and affiliation with Columbia. Plus, like Snivellus said, applying to Barnard shows that you're an independant woman who has the drive to succeed in a world where men occupy most leadership positions.

mardad · 12-03-2007, 10:57 PM

Pixiesticker, just out of curiosity, is your mother an immigrant?

churchmusicmom · 12-04-2007, 04:23 AM

Has your mom ever visited Barnard? Is she perhaps buying into the notion of Barnard's being somehow inferior to Columbia?

I agree with all that has been said here: there ARE definitely guys readily available. As a Barnard student, you can choose to take many, if not most, of your classes at Columbia...though my d has chosen not to take that many as she has found the Barnard ones to be more challenging and better-taught.

I hope you are able to help your mom understand what a unique place Barnad truly is and what incredible opportunities you have to grow there...

Best to you!

collegekid89 · 12-04-2007, 07:54 AM

if your mother thinks that girls who go to girls schools only do so because they "can't make it in the classroom with boys," those girls certainly don't go to barnard. i am a student here, and i"m "in the classroom with boys" every day! in fact, my only all girls class is my first year english class (Barnard students only). this doesnt even feel like an all girls environment except for in the dorms, which is actually really nice.

aube88 · 12-04-2007, 10:54 PM

First of all, even if the notion that classes with all girls were somehow inferior were tenable (which its not!), barnard does not conform to the normal all-girls environment. You can take whatever classes you want at Columbia, and all of your classes (with a few minor exceptions like freshman english) are open to columbia people so all of my classes have guys in them, I have a lot of guy friends, and there are always guys around campus and in the cafeterias. Barnard is said to be "the only co-ed women's college."

Secondly, Barnard is not only one of the best liberal arts colleges in the country, but you also have all of the resources of an Ivy League university at your fingertips and your degree will ultimately have the stamp of both schools ( Barnard and Columbia) which in my opinion is fitting becuse as a Barnard student, I really do feel a part of both communities.

Also, consider showing her the list of Barnad Alums or the recent NYTimes article that singled out Barnard - out of all the colelges and Universities in the country -- as having an incredible writing program and producing an abnormal amount of famous writers considering its small size. Barnard may not be ranked as one of the top ten liberal arts scools but if you're interested in writing, it is one of the best places you can go.

pixiesticker · 12-04-2007, 11:49 PM

Thanks for the advice, everyone. My mom has backed off a lot.
mardad: No, we're white, Jewish, and my mother's a successful doctor - She's been very independent her whole life and I think she wants me to be the same.

churchmusicmom · 12-05-2007, 04:38 AM

Quote:

She's been very independent her whole life and I think she wants me to be the same.

Then she should DEFINITELY want you to go to Barnard! I cannot even begin to tell you the effect that the environment there has had on my d in that regard! She is increasingly confident, incredibly independent, and very motivated (and capable!).

I hope you and your mom can visit and take the tour there some time. I assume she has never done so...

Best to you!

mardad · 12-05-2007, 09:33 PM

Does your mother know that there was a time when half the women doctors in the US were Barnard graduates?

gub · 12-05-2007, 10:32 PM

pixiesticker, I just noticed that you're from New Mexico, too! I'm from Los Alamos and my dad is actually a doctor too. But I spend a ton of time in Santa Fe since there is virtually nothing to do up here.

PurpoisePal · 12-08-2007, 11:18 AM

Ultimately, you have to remember that you will be the one spending for years at college soon, not her, so you should definitely apply to the school you love the most. Make sure to visit Barnard before you apply, and like everyone else has said, you can tell your mom about how wonderful Barnard is. Seriously, it's not like you're choosing between Yale and community college. Barnard is really an excellent school and is definitely up there among the top coed colleges.

mysteryflavored · 12-12-2007, 01:22 PM

My dad thought the same thing when I wanted to apply ED here. He thought I'd be much better off at Brown (his alma mater) or Amherst.

Long story short, I got in ED and am SO happy here. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else, and my father appreciates that now. Plus, I'm much closer to home than I would be with any other school, which is good for the two of us. :P