Parents of the HS Class of 2012 - Original - Page 1870

911C2S · 07-25-2012, 09:59 AM

Weighing in on XBox:

I was initially surprised that S wants to take his XBox, especially since he doesn't even have many games left (he's sold them back to Best Buy once he was tired of them). He thinks that he might do some gaming, but is also planning on using the XBox as his DVD player.

At the rate he's going, his dorm room is going to be more akin to a "man cave".

geogirl1 · 07-25-2012, 10:10 AM

This X-box discussion is getting me worried. We had PS2 and Wii. DS never really liked them and doesn't really play. Of course X-box was "better" and we didn't have it and I wasn't buying it. His vice is watching TV and movies on his computer. So now his roomate is bringing an xbox and TV. I am hoping he doesn't lose his freshman year to xbox. My only rule has been that he can't play World of Warcraft. I know too many young men who lost thier lives to that game. Or at least the good life they could have had if they hadn't become obsessed with that game. Ugh. Time for a mom talk. Maybe he will listen?

giterdone · 07-25-2012, 10:25 AM

It's hard to defeat the curious.

S3 was exposed (through his older brothers) to Warcraft, Crysis, League of Legends, etc... all the role playing games. Plus we were early adopters of Nintendo, all the PS's and XboX. He's 15 now, and completely bored with them. He'll play to kill time, and he's quite good at it, but that's about it. Same with Facebook - I see the "polish coming off that apple" with the < 16 set, at least in this small circle.

Sending kids off to college is sometimes like letting rats out of a cage - there are many philosophies on parenting and not one size fits all. But for the gaming? I'm glad its worked out the way it has. Of course DD never developed an interest.

eyemamom · 07-25-2012, 11:15 AM

My son is a gamer and I read some things that when you limit things it just makes them want it more. So I sat back and watched what happened with him and the gaming. At first he was like a crack addict playing constantly. My consolation was - at least he's on with friends and others actually talking to people. However, over time I noticed he'd play some but not obsessively.

Now he doesn't even plan on bringing xbox to college. He doesn't even want a tv in his room, but his roommate is bringing one so he just has to deal. We've discussed at length how some boys will lock themselves in their rooms and miss out on the college experience. I can see him playing some on someone else's system but I'm not worried about him now.

itsthatime · 07-25-2012, 11:29 AM

in terms of video games, I figured that I never had to tell my son to stop playing during high school - he is good at self monitoring and knew what he had to do. I just worry about the workload in general - I think that in itself could be a shocker - but I just think back to my first semester freshman year and I did not get great grades...I ended up graduating with lots of honors so I am just trying to remember that first semester will not define his whole college career and he will have to learn for himself how to juggle the workload. I am not sure if AP classes in high school are really equivalent to college in terms of worklead - and he will have five classes - but he will have to learn to allocate his time.

woody35 · 07-25-2012, 02:19 PM

My D isn't taking a TV to college but I still don't know if her roomie is. Apparently the roomie will be playing a fall sport for the college so she may not have much time for TV anyway. Not sure how many females bring videogame systems to college but I'm counting on the odds being in my favor that D's dorm room won't be a videogaming center.

mom60 · 07-25-2012, 02:26 PM

While S and his dorm mates spent a lot of time playing X Box they still found time to have a inter mural flag football team. Many of them also formed a intermural basketball team as well. What suffered was sleep. Playing could go on all night especially when a new game came out.

boysx3 · 07-25-2012, 04:29 PM

okay, folks, I'm way beyond this point, and it was never a factor for any of my sons anyway--

but my neighbor received a call last night from the mother of her freshman-to-be son's roommate--
demanding that neighbor's son not bring his tv and gaming system to college.

Apparently this mom does not want her son to have these at college. Apparently that boy
told neighbor boy the situation, and they decided neighbor boy would bring these while other boy would be responsible for the refrigerator/microwave.

The boys were randomly assigned and do not know each other. I am assuming that the mom got the contact information for our neighbor from the roommate assignment.

My poor neighbor doesn't know what to think....

Her son was planning on bringing the tv and gaming system because he likes to relax that way sometimes, and for him it's not a problem. My neighbor really never thought about him bringing them, or not....he was planning on bringing the 24" tv from his bedroom.

She is horrified at the action--much less the tone --the other boy's mother took, and wonders if it portends more problems during the year. Does the boy have a real problem with gaming? Is it just the mother that has a problem with the boy gaming? Will the mother be a "presence" in the room, and the roommate relationship?

Oy.

mathinokc · 07-25-2012, 04:37 PM

Wow! I'm amazed at the audacity of the roommate's mom to think that she can control something that someone else is doing (especially since there's nothing illegal or immoral about it).

If she (and roommate) are afraid that boy will bother roommate by staying up late gaming/having others in gaming, then that's something to negotiate once the boys are there together.

If she thinks that the TV and XBox will be temptation for roommate, then does she not realize how many other temptations there are in college? She can't possibly control them all. There will probably be TVs and XBoxes in other nearby rooms, anyway.

If she thinks he won't be able to study while the XBox or TV is in use, then he needs to learn to study outside his room. (Harsh maybe, but there are lots of places to study in college and some people do better when they don't study in their rooms.)

boysx3 · 07-25-2012, 04:53 PM

exactly, mathinokc--

I've always let my boys negotiate their own roommate relationships. It's part of the college experience and part of becoming an adult.

Studying space and times need to be worked out by those living in the room. Bedtimes need to be worked out too. Socializing in the room--likewise.

That mom really needs to rein herself in and learn to observe appropriate boundaries.

I admit that I am curious about the family dynamic...

I have a feeling my neighbor (the son) is in for an interesting year.

dwhite · 07-25-2012, 05:07 PM

boysx3 - "Wow", is all I can say to that!! That is one scary mom! I feel bad for your neighbor's son, sounds like he may be getting an "extra" roomie...

momsings · 07-25-2012, 05:10 PM

boysx3--your poor neighbor's S. The truth is, no one can tell anyone what they can and cannot bring if it is on the approved list at the school. Sheesh!

boysx3 · 07-25-2012, 05:22 PM

I am thinking I would love to be a fly on the wall at move-in time!

geogirl1 · 07-25-2012, 05:45 PM

Wow, that is an over the line mom! I'd politely tell the mom that my son will bring what ever he chooses, that it is up to him, and I am not interfering. The boys need to work this out for themselves. End of story. Then crazy mom can spend the rest of the summer hounding the college to find her son a new roomate who promises not to bring a gaming system. The fun is just beginning!!

I have to say, I voiced my concern over DS starting the Xbox habit in college, but I never limited game system time at our house. After purchasing a PS2 and a Wii, I just wasn't interested in buying an xbox too! DS just didn't play much growing up (his choice). I did say NO WWC, because that game does creep me out. But, I didn't call around and tell DS's freinds mom not to let him play! I trusted him not to play that one game and I don't think it was ever an issue. Of course, DS will figure this all out for himself with roomie.

Mom2M · 07-25-2012, 06:57 PM

At minimum I'd suggest the neighbor be sure her son understands who to contact for help with roommate issues--even if the issues are with the roommate's mom. I would likely tell the mom my student is bringing whatever he wants (barring the illegal and immoral, obviously). And then not reply to any further emails.

I think I'll make a note to talk to D about where to get help for roommate issues, etc. The girls have emailed some, seem to be compatible, but both have always had their own rooms, etc. Could be interesting.