Parents of the HS Class of 2014 - Page 3

sandkmom · 07-11-2010, 08:42 PM

I can't even believe I am on CC and posting about S2. S1 is heading off to college this fall and so far my time on CC has been all about him! Two kids both Class of 2014...nobody told me that having kids 4 years apart wouldn't exactly help my EFC!

S2 scares me! Academically, he is an honors student in the fall with his head in the clouds for the remainder of the year. He is immature both physically and emotionally yet the teachers tell me that socially he is "the man" which is a big part of the problem. I mean why should I expect him to study when he could be hanging out with his friends or, even better, GIRLS instead?!! I know I will have to bribe him with cash and parties now that the grades count.

He wants to be a marine and he does want to go to college but he hasn't decided if it's going to be college then marines or vice versa. I know a lot can change in 4 years but I do actually believe that he will be not change his mind on this. He's been into it since he was a little boy playing with GI Joe and he's passionate and knowledgeable about all things armed forces. He's going to a military leadership academy this summer and will get the opportunity to live that life. I hope that 2 weeks in boot camp gets him off to a good and better disciplined start in HS and no, it's NOT boot camp for troubled teens. We'll see...I wanted him to read 2 of the summer reading books even though only 1 was required. This, of course, was unacceptable and what could possibly be the reason for it? Well, how about learning that sometimes in life you just have to go above and beyond and if you really want to be a marine that is an idea you will have to get used to. Yeah, mom, I highly doubt they won't take me into the marines just because I only read 1 book for summer reading as a HS freshman. We're going to have fun with this one!

momreads · 07-11-2010, 10:41 PM

Zandari: If your daughter attends a good-sized high school, the number of EC possibilities are endless. For my son, however, he has limited chances for ECs -- at least in school -- because there are just under 300 students in grades 9-12. Also, his older brother was the be all and end all at the school. Every teacher loved S1, who was National Merit, valedictorian, editor of the literary magazine, school president, president of a community service organization and led the academic team to its first state title.

One of the things we've done is sit down S2 and tell him that he is not his brother, nor do we want him to be his brother. We want him to enjoy what he enjoys, and some of those things are things S1 did -- the academic team and volunteering. What gives me the great pleasure is when he does things his brother didn't -- like taking an exploratory shop class. He learned so many great things. In fact, he helped a friend fix a bedroom set. I thought it was awesome. He knew how to use a drill. I don't know how to use one. Neither does my husband or S1.

student4ever:) · 07-11-2010, 11:15 PM

joining the club - S2 will be a freshman in September, on the young side, turning 14 in November. S1 (2012) and S2 are complete opposites. S1 has been extremely involved in ecs. (Math, music, theater) and I'm hoping S2 finds some ecs to get him more involved in school. He has expressed interest in cars and film editing. He will be taking an elective related to autos, and the school has an auto club - hopefully, he will join. I don't know about any film classes or clubs??

ordinarylives · 07-12-2010, 09:21 AM

"I'm curious if high school been a time of specialization or sampling for other people's children?"

I really think we see more and more specialization. And true, the kids with the private lessons and years on the travel teams are going to get spots. The rising freshman on the varsity softball team? Yep, the kid whose grandmother has been pushing her into softball (and coaching her and videotaping the games to "go over" later). Dance team? yep, the girls who've been in studio dance. But, while those kids might be shoo-ins, there are always a few kids who seem to come out of nowhere. Ordinaryd1 made the dance team without studio dance. Ordinary d1's bf plays in the top jazz band (a huge deal at our school) and doesn't take private lessons. He's probably the only kid who doesn't. In fact, I can't think of a single school activity (although I admit, I'm not up on every single one) that doesn't have a few kids who aren't in the private lesson/travel team group.

The nice thing about freshman year is that the kids can try. Really popular sports might have a freshman team, then JV, then Varsity, just so everybody can try. I think schools, as much as they can within the confines of their budgets, do the best they can to give kids a shot. Seems every parent meeting i go to for freshman activities has the coach or sponsor reminding all of us that no child will be denied the opportunity to participate based on inability to pay (although one must apply for assistance).

zandari · 07-12-2010, 01:53 PM

You all make some great points about opportunities that exist for students who haven't been groomed for years in particular activities. I agree that there are avenues to explore for all high school students.

Unfortunately, our high school, which is a large public school with a very limited budget, may be a little less nurturing when it comes to the "premier" activities. You can see a divide between those students whose parents have the resources and inclination to provide opportunities for their children and those whose parents don't. Sometimes I wonder if those of us who can afford to provide every opportunity for our children to excel inadvertantly raise the bar too high for kids who come from less advantaged backgrounds. Our high school runs the gamut from children of affluent professional parents to kids who are sleeping in their cars because their parents cannot provide a stable home. You can guess which group populates activities and AP classes.

All of this brings me back to the dilemma with DD. She has had every opportunity, and of course I want her to keep as many doors open as possible for colleges by doing all of the things that selective schools are looking for. I'm not sure how to blend this desire with letting her be her own, goofy, 14 year-old self while spending her time sampling a little bit of this and little bit of that rather than honing already developed skills, like playing the cello. I know it would be nice to do both, but honestly, there are only so many hours in the day. I'd love to hear how other parents have struck a balance.

FallGirl · 07-12-2010, 04:44 PM

Some of the very large HS have many activities, but competition can be brutal. Yes I did see a rare child come out of nowhere, but that was usually a child who had an older sibling and whose name was known.

What I learned (from having an older child):

1. Find out if your child needs to be enrolled in a specific class to participate in an EC. (in our local HS yearbook and newspaper -yes, marching band - no).

2. Find out when clubs meet and sports teams practice. (before school/after school/during school/Saturdays?). Do this BEFORE you sign up your child for any out of school commitments.

3. If tryouts/auditions are required and no "information meeting" is held prior, find out if your child needs to have something prepared.

I learned all of the above the hard way.

ordinarylives · 07-12-2010, 05:12 PM

^Let me add one to FallGirl's list. 4. Because information may or may not get home to parent, find out who is already in an activity to learn when practices/tryouts ARE. Ordinaryd2 would never have played softball this year if she hadn't found out about practice and tryouts from last year's players.

murmur · 07-12-2010, 05:21 PM

Well I have found my new home. My first son is is a sophomore at Allegheny College in PA. My daughter who will be 15 in Nov. starts her freshmen year in August. Completely different ball game this time around. He was B+, out going, needed focus, loved adventure. She is focused, cautious, taking an online class to be ahead, scholarship to high school, all honor's classes and sophomore level geometry. CC was a blessing for my son and I think it will be a huge help this time around, looking forward to sharing it with all of you and your children.

PaperChaserPop · 07-14-2010, 06:31 PM

Welcome sandkmom, strudent4ever, murmur!

On the topic of immaturity - I normally encourage S3 to take inexpensive or free math/science/sports summer enrichment classes when they are available, but I recommended a philosophy class to him this summer. My hope is that classroom discussions would open his mind up to serious and critical thinking about life and expose to views and ideas that have been hitherto foreign to him.

Interestingly, S2 just abandoned his math class and joined his little brother's philosophy class...

PlanAhead · 07-17-2010, 02:23 AM

Well, after week #1 of "tennis boot camp" as DD has dubbed it (6 hrs on the court/day), she's still gung ho and has been more focused on it than ever before. She played with a new racquet today, and felt she had made a good equipment choice...She's off to week #2 at an in-state college next week, so it will be interesting to see if she can maintain the same intensity. She had some intense health issues last year, which seem to boil down to blood pressure and thyroid issues, and I'm a bit anxious about her being 2 hrs away with the predicted heat wave. They do have a medical staff, so it should be ok...but the dorms do not have AC...bring on the 20" box fans!

Our hs has 3200+ students...athletic positions are pretty competitive, but there are many other activities that our students can get involved with without having prior experience/legacy. One good thing about a large school is that most students can find their niche with so many activities to choose from.I agree that this is the year for students to try many different things!

So, as a HS teacher with 25+ yrs experience, I offer a few insights, if I may:

1) It could be helpful to have your student find out what types of activities your student's school offers BEFORE school starts, and the various club names, so students are familiar with them and recognize the name when they hear it. In all my years of teaching, I've seen SO many freshmen students miss the notices about club meetings, etc., because they weren't familiar with the club name vs. its purpose. For ex: "Warrior club" may be a group that volunteers in the community on a regular basis, but you might think it was the pep club just by the name. Students are less likely to miss the opening meetings this way. Once freshmen miss that first meeting, many of them are reluctant to go to the next one, just because they feel a bit funny about it. Encourage them to go anyway (obviously)!!

2) If your school maintains a website, explore it thoroughly and have your student do the same. Student handbooks, calendar, lunch info and handbooks all might be available online right now. Many teachers will have webpages as part of that site, and students can often get a feel for the teacher/class by the info that is posted on the teacher's site. Of course, some teachers post more than others, but it is a way to ease those butterflies that no self respecting freshman would admit to having!! If a course syllabus is posted, it might have a listing of the supplies students need, so parents can take advantage of sales now.

3) If a season pass is available for athletic events, it could be worth purchasing. In our state, if a team makes it through to the regional competition level (and further), season pass holders have first crack at tickets for each playoff game. Of course those tickets become more scarce as time goes on, and the fans come out of the woodwork. Would you want to miss watching your football team as they play for the state championship if all of your friends were going to be there?

4) If its a large school, your student may NOT know most of thier classmates at first. This is very normal! Many of my students have said that they met so many different people that they kids they hung out with in MS were not the ones that they hung out with as they moved thru HS.

How large is your student's school, and when is your start date? We start mid-August.

Apollo6 · 07-17-2010, 11:48 AM

There are only two high schools in our district. Each one had 2500-2800 students. 2014 son and 2011 son will be at the larger one this year. They go back to school August 17th. There was a big push to go back to starting school after Labor Day this year because our state testing moved from fall to spring but I think that won't happen since it would cause high school classes to give first semester final exams after winter break and give students less instructional time before AP testing. I wonder if there has ever been a study comparing AP scores between states that start school after Labor Day to states that start school in August.

FallGirl · 07-17-2010, 04:52 PM

S will be attending a school with approx 2000 students.

Schools here starts after Labor Day. I wish they would start in August and be finished at the end of May. There is too much wasted time after the state testing and AP tests are over and I would rather the students have more instructional time prior to the testing.

29happymom26 · 07-17-2010, 11:21 PM

DS14 will be in a graduating class of about 350 with a school that has about 1400 students. It is the only HS in our district. School begins Aug. 23 but he has been working on homework all summer. It has been a downer to him but when he is with the other kids that have the same honors classes, he feels better about it. Also, football will take up more than 5 hours a day starting this Monday and also a couple overnights next week.

Are other kids doing a lot of homework? His reading requirement is Persepolis and Longitudes and Attitudes and many assignments to go with these books.

momreads · 07-18-2010, 07:44 AM

My son has assignments for world history and English this summer. It has been a chore to motivate him, because he has never had so much to do. The world history assignment took about three hours overall. The English? Well, he realizes how much he hates mythology now! One book has three or four big assignments with it. Then, he has to choose a second book off the provided list and do five more assignments. A friend of mine who taught English at his HS was quite honest. "It's a weed out class," she said. If the kids do not do the assignments, they cannot take the class. I reminded my son that the class itself is not this challenging every day. Besides, he's a math-science kid, so that makes this more difficult.

murmur · 07-22-2010, 04:15 PM

My DD just finished her summer Health class yesterday. Now she has to finish the summer reading that the whole school needs to do. They are reading Night and then writing several essays. The book will be used in several classes (history, english and religion), it is a small (less thank 500) Catholic, all-girls, private high school. She is excited for their Aug. 23rd start date.