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I'm depressed that my friend got into Columbia and I did not

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Replies to: I'm depressed that my friend got into Columbia and I did not

  • twogirlstwogirls Registered User Posts: 5,231 Senior Member
    During my daughter' senior year she read the Frank Bruni book - Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be. I recommend it. I also recommend going to the school that accepted you and focus on becoming a rock star. If you continue with the hard work from HS you will be successful.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 5,484 Senior Member
    I am sorry you feel like you have wasted your time. As others have said, you haven't, so go to college and thrive. I would be interested to know what other schools you applied to. Did you apply to top tier schools and one safety?

    As a cautionary tale for other readers, if this is in fact what happened with @felixmendelssohn , please be aware that it happens regularly. Many high stats students apply to a lot of reach schools thinking that they will get lucky with at least one, only to find themselves with only one or two choices come May 1. College admissions aren't a lottery. Make a balanced list of safety, match and reach schools to ensure that you have options.

    OP, you can wait for May 5 to see what schools still have places available. NACAC will publish a list and often many of the schools are very good. Or take a gap year and rethink what you want to do. There are more valedictorians in the US than there are places for them at the top colleges. Other people are feeling your pain. It will work out for the best ultimately. Good luck.
  • TomSrOfBostonTomSrOfBoston Registered User Posts: 9,687 Senior Member
    Pity parties are never much fun.
  • IBBer3466633IBBer3466633 Registered User Posts: 10 New Member
    edited April 19
    I totally understand your frustration. I personally happen to oppose affirmative action, and for that matter, I am quite grateful it is banned by constitutional amendment in my state (MI <-- and this amendment was held up in SCOTUS). But with that said, a hook and ECs can be very important in the college admissions process. Don't be down, as many state universities are good schools (I know that my public state school is in the top 20 of all universities in the nation). Keep Working hard!
  • techmom99techmom99 Registered User Posts: 1,265 Senior Member
    When I was in college, my pre-law advisor promised me a rec to Columbia Law School. It was his alma mater and the school usually took the one candidate he recommended each year. Then, the Bakke decision came out. Right at app submitting time, the prof told me that he was giving his recommendation to a minority female. She had lower grades, lower LSAT's, etc. I applied anyway and was rejected. At the time, I was distraught. I didn't go to graduation and I never spoke with the advisor again, even though he reached out to me a couple of times the first few years after I graduated. I went to another school that offered me a free ride. In my second year, I met my H and the rest is history.

    My point is not that affirmative action stinks, it is that you will gain perspective about this rejection as time goes on and you make a life for yourself at another school. I only really ever think about Columbia when I see posts like yours.

    Good luck to you.
  • 367367367367 Registered User Posts: 24 New Member
    Ugh that stinks. The good news is that clearly you are very smart and will do well anywhere you go. Also it is much easier to transfer to into a school than to apply as a senior in high school so keep that in mind if you still really want to go to Columbia.
  • sushirittosushiritto Registered User Posts: 401 Member
    edited April 20
    @collegemom3717
    A 3.4 GPA and an 1810 (or equivalent to 1,290 new SAT) and you don't think his race was a factor in his admission? Really? The 25th percentile is around 2,100 at Columbia and the average GPA is over a 4.0.

    Let's be realistic here. His EC's are great, but the fact that he and the GC didn't think he had a chance and his GPA and SAT score are extremely low for Columbia should provide ample circumstantial evidence of the AO's decision.

    Assuming the facts are correct. It is what it is.
  • JimXie9828JimXie9828 Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
    First of all, all your endeavours in high school will result in something good. Studying is not only about getting into Ivies, it has way more profound effects than that. Try not to feel discouraged because you feel like you have wasted your time, they will pay off in the university.

    Then I guess you have to think about whether you are discouraged because you didn't get admitted by Columbia, or is it because your friend got in? Is Columbia your dream school or something really important to you? If it is, then get good grades in university, which I am sure you will, then get transferred. But if it's simply because your friend got in, don't be that ignorant to let your emotion blind you and lose a friend. Yes, you have good results, but he also has something that's worthy of appreciation.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is don't just focus on the fact that your friend got in and u didn't. Realise you still have plenty of opportunities to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve.

  • renaissancedadrenaissancedad Registered User Posts: 1,327 Senior Member
    edited April 20
    The OP has not responded, and has a brand new CC account with a post count of 1. I would guess this is not a serious thread.
  • HRSMomHRSMom Registered User Posts: 4,010 Senior Member
    edited April 20
    2 things:

    1). If your only other choice is a crappy state U, then that was bad planning. With your stats you had many other choices that would have given you a "noncrappy" education and financial/merit if you needed that. I presume your choice of words was hyperbole, bc you seem like a fairly bright kid who would have understood the reality of the top 30 app pool.

    2). Folks, let's be real on both sides. Both are engaging in hyperbole. To say race was not a factor is ridiculous. To say race is the reason the friend got in is ridiculous. And by the way, OP did NOT say this is why the friend got in. I read the post and saw that aside as, "but he had a hook". And yes, that hook is a factor. If that same kid was a white, wealthy suburban male, well, he'd need a hook too. Maybe a football player or senator's son? The hook gets you a second look. Sadly, perfect scores get you barely a glance.

    You'll be fine. I was a bright kid who had no idea I could go to any top school for free. I did go to a regional state U bc it was free. I am now very successful. Grades and ECs fall away. The person you are and your experiences are what are important.

    If you don't want to go to crappy U, we can help you find a better school, even at this late date. If it is just venting, then give yourself a week of depression, and then stop and get on with it. No one cares about success. It teaches you nothing g and shows the world little about you. How you handle failure is another matter tho. What you learn from it is the key to life.

    In my family, failure is not an option. Failing simply means one of 2 things: you are not finished yet, or the thing you've "tried" was not realistically achievable (i.e., Ivy or being an NBA or rock star, etc).
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