Darcy47

Hi,

I am the mother of a 18 year old daughter whom is getting prepared to enter an ivy league school in the fall with a full scholarship.

The problem is, she is going through a lot of things right now both mentally and emotionally, and it is too late to request a deferral. She keeps going through periods of severe depression and mental breakdowns, and I am worried about sending her to school in the fall, because she has, several times already, tried to commit suicide. My husband and I have begun counseling sessions for her, but they have not seemed to help much.

She worked very hard to get into college and to earn her scholarships, and I know that she is mentally "burned out" from all of the academics, and is very overworked and depressed, but I really don't know what to do for her to help her. She needs time off, and I don't know how to ask the school for this without her losing her scholarships and possibly her admission. Both her father and I agree that the best option might be to just let her take time off for a year and travel, get counseling, a real job, etc., but we do NOT want to go through the college admissions process again.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I'd like for my daughter to retain her scholarships and admission, but not if it means that she kills herself in the process.

Thanks for reading!!!

'tisthetruth

Tough situation. Have you tried calling the school? Perhaps a doctor's note would convince them to defer her admission, since the problem came up (or worsened) just this summer?

It's also a good idea to post this on the Parents' Forum/Parents' Cafe. The parents there might have better suggestions.

sybbie719

move your question to the parents forum, you will get a better range of answers from parents, some who have gone through the same thing.

fizik

It is a very tough situation, especially because I do not think it is a good idea to either send her to college in such a state (the new place WILL make it much worse) or let the college know. For obvious reasons they do not particularly like to have a problem student on campus, so it may and most likely will cause trouble with admissions. Think also about the pressure of the college life and academics. If your daughter got into depression just getting through admission, what will happen once she has quizes/test/finals/papers due etc every day of a week.
The ivy college after all may not be the best option. My feeling would be to keep her at home and maybe enroll her in less demanding place. After all, it is better to have a sane child with a less stellar education.

Marian

It seems to me that you and your daughter really have only two choices: she can either withdraw from the college completely (which means that she would have to go through the admissions process again) or she can inform the college of her problem and ask whether there are any options other than withdrawal (they may suggest an immediate medical leave of absence).

DoveofPeace

Closing because another thread has been started in the Parent's Forum cafe, and replies can be posted there.