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College Appeal Letter

gchoi363gchoi363 Posts: 5Registered User New Member
edited April 2009 in College Admissions
This is my appeal letter to UCSB

Dear Committee Members,

I am writing to appeal my admission decision Thank you for your careful decisions on the admissions. However, UCSB has always been on of my top choices for few reasons. UCSB has one of the most excellent biology and pre-med programs in undergraduate department and I believe by being able to attend to this school, I would be able to gain a significant knowledge and interest towards the major which I wish to major in.
Throughout high school, I have always believed in taking on difficult challenges to be interesting. Aside from the positive reason, I spent my freshman year to junior year filled with advancement placement and honors courses due to selfish reasons such as appearing to be intelligent. This thought process clearly turned out to be ineffective and negatively affected me as a student. The pressure I received from courses which I was not capable of taking turned into unwillingness to work, thus leading to procrastination and lower grades.
Realizing what my limits were, I decided to spend the senior year continually doing extracurricular activities while taking courses which I could manage. The courses remained just as hard with less amount of work, but aside from the academics, one of the awards which I received was for being the most active person in the volunteering club. Due to constant volunteering, I was unable to attend to more than half of the Science Olympiad meeting. But this has turned out to be one of my biggest accomplishments. After spending the time which I had left on preparing for Science Olympiad competition, I was able to win second place in the Science Olympiad team. I have also continued to be involved in the track and filed team at school. Some of the major accomplishments which I have made in the team this year were becoming part of the varsity team and becoming the team captain of my particular event. I have also been taking in part of the physics bowl team, which is planned to compete at a national rank.
A minor mistake which I had made on the acclimation was the English course which I had failed during freshman year, which does not satisfy the “a – g” requirement. I have been taking an online course from BYU in order to satisfy this requirement and will be testing to bring the failed grades higher to a passing grade.
Although I have spent most of my high school years under my selfish reasons, my selfishness has further allowed me to realize what my limitations were act according to it. With all respect, I would like to ask you to reconsider my application once more.

Any grammatical error as well as content suggestions are what I'm looking for. Thanks in advance to anybody who will be commenting.
Post edited by gchoi363 on

Replies to: College Appeal Letter

  • lunitarilunitari Posts: 503Registered User Member
    I'll be honest: an essay drawing attention to your selfishness and procrastination (your terms, not mine!) is not going to help your chances. The rest of your letter talks about activities that they probably already know about from your original application, so you're not giving them anything new to change their minds here.

    With their decisions made and more than enough students on their admit list and waitlist, I don't think this appeal is going to work. I'm sorry. I know it must be very disappointing for you.

    But it sounds like you've learned some important things about yourself, and that shows a lot of personal growth. I hope you've got a backup school where you can apply what you've learned next year. If you can do a standout job in your first year elsewhere, maybe you can transfer to UCSB. Best of luck to you in your efforts.
  • lindz126lindz126 Posts: 1,906Registered User Senior Member
    I also thought the letter unfortunately didn't highlight any new or additional info about you. While you offered your honesty, it also highlights that you had some trouble managing your time and energy, ie. the Olympiad and the class you didn't pass. I would rework the letter and only plan to appeal if you can identify why you belong there,and what you bring...good luck
  • WishyWashyWishyWashy Posts: 264Registered User Junior Member
    lunitari is absolutely right. It is rarely, if EVER, a good idea to introduce negative aspects of yourself to an institution that you are trying to impress. Maybe if the letter was more about personal growth or redemption or something, it would be okay, but the letter doesn't do much more than say that your selfishness allowed you to see important aspects of your personality.

    Really, though, I think all of that is moot. An appeals letter should not be a justification of why your application isn't good enough; it should be a correction of any glaring mistakes in your application or revealing new achievements that you had not before reported or have just recently accomplished.
  • gchoi363gchoi363 Posts: 5Registered User New Member
    made few changes to the letter and it probably still has most of the grammatical errors, I'd like to share this one as well.

    Dear Committee Member,

    I am writing to appeal my admission decision to UCSB. There are several new pieces of information which I have left out on the previous application that I would like to share.
    One thing which I failed to mention in my essays was the true difficulties of the challenges which I had. The courses which I took are the most difficult courses at a very competitive high school. Track & Field at Torrey Pines is also very competitive and required the athletes more than ten hours per week of practice and competition and it often interfered with my studies. Although I was not able to maintain a grade letter of ‘A’ in most of the classes, I have learned much from my high school experience. I have learned to be able to see which challenges are manageable and are not for me.
    An error which I have made on the application is my failure to complete an English course during my freshman year, which does not satisfy the “a – g” requirement. I have taken an online course from BYU and will be testing in order to meet the “a – g” requirement.
    I have won few awards and accomplishments as a senior. The awards I received are the most active member of the community volunteering and taking second place in the Science Olympiad regional competition. Some of the accomplishments I have achieved are becoming part of varsity team and an event captain of the Track & Field and physics bowl team, which is planned to compete at regional level.
    I have continued to take considerably difficult courses as a senior at school and am doing much better. I currently have four A’s and two B’s.
    Although my grades may have been considerably low, I have learned to take challenges which I could manage. I believe that with what I have learned from my experiences at Torrey Pines, I will be able to successful at UCSB. With all respect, I would like to ask you to reconsider my application.
  • HatoyamaHatoyama Posts: 102Registered User Junior Member
    Although my grades may have been considerably low...

    Never never never never never say this. If you know your grades are bad, then they know your grades are bad, and you have an unspoken understanding that your grades are bad. It's the elephant in the room... don't call it by name. Delete this sentence entirely. This: "I have continued to take considerably difficult courses as a senior at school and am doing much better. I currently have four A’s and two B’s, and have learned to take challenges I can manage." sounds MUCH more impressive.

    Oh, and sign your letter with "Sincerely, [name]". Sincerity is what you're going for here. Good luck.
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